Emily K.

Photography by Aneesa Wermers

If you’re reading this, know it’s okay to ask for help.

If you are reading this, I promise you that the five seconds it takes to call a number for help will change your life. For me, that number was a therapist. For someone else, it might be a different resource. And that is ok. As medical treatment for physical illness varies for all patients, medical care for mental health should never take a “one size fits all” approach. Each person’s mental health struggles and journey to recovery is completely unique because we are all complex human beings with an array of feelings, all of which are valid, no matter how strongly and persistently your mind might try to convince you otherwise. I understand this is easier said than done, as my anxiety thoughts won this battle over my longing to get better for six years. However, a simple breakthrough thought of courage, “I need help, and that is ok,” can bring unimaginable joy into your life.

I promise you that it is much scarier now for me to think about how I would have continued to be trapped in a dark, seemingly endless pit of illness. For six years, I tried out numerous bandages to fix a wound that needed surgery. And naturally, actively denying my depression and anxiety allowed my mental health to snowball into a monster that included an eating disorder, imposter syndrome, and the inability to be my authentic self, among other things. I could no longer define genuine love without approval and success without comparison. My inner peace was replaced with inner worry. My mind left me restless and unsatisfied. So please, if you can do one thing for me today, you can have one moment of honesty with yourself to acknowledge your brokenness and seek help in some capacity.

I cannot stress enough that you are not alone in this battle. Because even though every person’s life struggles have varying causes, everyone can relate to feeling broken, empty, and lost. This is the beauty of the human soul and people’s ability to feel empathy for and connection with one another. People have the power to harness their lived experiences to treat others with kindness and compassion. Your mental health will continue to try to take your hope and turn it into pessimism and self sabotage. It will try to convince you that life is unfair.

You have to promise me that you will not stop fighting back until you find yourself in awe of the greatness of life again. Look in the intricacies of the clouds. Look at the person blasting music in their Airpods. Look at the BC dining staff who consistently greet you with a smile. Look at the smell of freshly baked desserts while walking through your residence hall. I am not promising that it will be easy. I am not promising that you will find what you are looking for every day. But what I can promise is that no feeling lasts forever and that struggle is often the most painful, yet effective vehicle to healing that exists.

Lastly, I want to say that I will always speak candidly and proudly about my mental illness. I acknowledge that society conditioned me to be ashamed of this for so long. However, when I embraced this part of myself, my friendships deepened, my passions for justice were sparked, and my soul was ignited with newfound meaning and warmth. To address your biggest fear, I promise you this does not make you a burden to anyone. Do not let the fear of losing people stop you from taking actions to become a better version of yourself. You have to trust that the love in your life is real. If it is not genuine love, the loss will hurt temporarily, but you will be so grateful that you had the courage to create space to gain new love in your life.

I promise to always confidently wear my journey on my sleeve and be vulnerable with others. I promise to always give myself grace in healing. Most importantly, I promise to always affirm others' mental health journeys and hopefully make them smile at some point along the way.

With Love,

Emily K., Boston College ‘22

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