Ms. Suzanne Hawks
If you’re reading this, acknowledge the good you do.
On a recent warm, sunny Sunday afternoon, I was spending time with friends while chatting about our various day-to-day lives. As I was hearing about my friends’ jobs and hobbies, it occurred to me how, even though we’re close friends, we actually know very little about the details of each other’s lives. I have no idea what any of them encounter throughout their day and the skills they use to be successful. Conversely, they too have no idea what I do during my work hours - specifically. That brought me to think: what do they do each day that’s totally “normal” to them and they’ve completely forgotten to be proud of it? For example, when one friend (who is a nurse) was discussing their day, it was no big deal to talk about how they had to perform life saving measures on a patient. They have completely forgotten what a gift they are to the world. It’s just their norm now and it’s “no big deal”.
As a staff member in the Center for Learning Access and Student Success (CLASS), I meet with students every day. I hear the most remarkable stories and tales about what gives students joy, what stresses them out, and why they’re here. A common theme often arises in my conversations: students frequently discount and disregard all the good they do in their lives. They shrug off their successes as either luck, happenstance, or just being good at “that one thing.” I hear stories about what they’re involved in or things they do with their friends. I look at them, mouth wide open, truly in awe of some of the small and simple but amazing choices they all make each day. Students more often than not shrug it off and think I’m being dramatic but ask any of my family or friends: I mean it. I’m so impressed with them and they should be impressed with themselves, too.
Go with me on this tangent really quickly: our brains don’t know the difference between stressors. Stress is stress to the body. If we’re not careful, we’ll only think about the stress and we’ll only look at the negative. We have to be REALLY intentional about signaling to our brain: “I’m OK. I’ve made a few good choices today that I can be proud of.” When we’re looking at the good we do, our brains can come back “online.” What happens then? Our memory will work better, our clarity will come back so we can make tough choices with confidence (like is it “a or b” on a test?), and we’ll find more things we can do that may either transform our day or possibly someone else’s. The more you look for the good you do in your day, the more you will find things to be proud of and you will actually create new neural pathways that will form new routines of thought.
So I leave you with this: acknowledge the good you do. Some days may be really hard. That’s OK. Life is a little muddy sometimes. Believe me, there are days when the only thing I can be proud of is the fact that I drank water today. Or maybe I got up from my desk and walked a lap around the quad. Then there are days when I write something like this letter and I’m filled with so much gratitude for all the people in my life who have encouraged me, loved me, and nurtured me so that I can hopefully return the favor. So close your laptop or or your phone and go make a list of all the good things you did this week. Then do it again next week. Come tell me about it sometime. I’d love to hear about it.
Sincerely,
Ms. Suzanne Hawks, CLASS Office Wake Forest
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