Rebekka F.
Photography by Taormina Cosomano
If you’re reading this, know that it is okay to not know exactly who you are.
I feel like more often than not, there is this pressure to know who you are. Know what you stand for. Know your passion. Know your purpose. Know what makes you, YOU.
For a long time, I have struggled with the idea of not fully understanding who I am. As in, what my values are, what my boundaries are, what I want to do with my life, what I am passionate about, what I am good at, what my favorite things to do are, etc. As you can probably imagine, this has been really difficult to navigate at times.
Sometimes I have even beaten myself up over it. I tell myself I'm too malleable to the situations I find myself in.
What I have learned is that it is okay to evolve. It is okay to change. It is okay to adapt. It is okay to decide that something no longer suits you. It is okay to decide that a person no longer suits you. It is okay to change your values. It is okay to change your boundaries. It is okay to change your career path. It is okay to not be who you were a year ago. It is also okay to mourn who you used to be. Never, ever, let someone make you feel bad for becoming a more truthful version of yourself.
Life has a way of throwing us into a whirlwind of uncertainty, and amidst it all, I have found myself questioning my identity, my purpose, and my place in this world. It is easy to feel lost, to feel like we’re dragging ourselves along without a clear sense of direction. But I want you to know that you are not alone in this.
Change is guaranteed. As we build relationships with new people, say yes to new opportunities, learn new information, etc., our minds and hearts are opened to new perspectives. How could we possibly stay the same?
Each one of us is constantly evolving and growing with every experience, every setback, and every triumph. And it is perfectly normal to feel like we haven’t figured it all out yet. In all honesty, we haven’t. No one has.
But what if we embraced the uncertainty? What if we leaned into the discomfort of not having all the answers? It is within those moments of true vulnerability that I have found my strength. It is okay to explore different sides of yourself. It is okay to try new things. It is okay to be exactly who you are at this given moment. It is okay to make mistakes and, most importantly, to learn from them along the way.
Self-discovery is not a linear journey. It is messy. It is difficult. It is unpredictable. And it is beautiful. So, be gentle with yourself. Be patient with yourself. Be forgiving with yourself.
Every life is different. Every path is different. There is no mold for this life that we are living. Know that you have the power to define who you are on your own terms.
You are unique, and you are constantly evolving. But through it all, you are worthy of love, acceptance, and belonging.
I encourage you to take a deep breath, trust in the process, and be gentle on yourself. Accept that the person that you are today may not be the person that you will become tomorrow.
Instead of resisting it, we can learn to accept it. And with acceptance comes peace.
Rebekka F., Florida State University
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