Sanjana B.
Photography by Alyse Stauffer
If you’re reading this, know you will find your people.
You are perfectly unique in your own way, and you do not have to conform to any standard or pretend to be someone that you’re not.
I would have never pinned myself as an extrovert or someone who was particularly interested in sharing my thoughts or ideas. This was especially clear when I entered my freshman year of college. Even on the very first day, it seemed like everyone already had their own friend group. I fake-laughed through dinner with my roommates as if I didn’t already feel an overwhelming level of failure of not already meeting my best friend for life.
Over the next few months, I desperately hung on to anyone who would talk to me. Even people who would make fun of me and partake in activities I was not comfortable with and partook with them. My mental health took a turn for the worse, and it was evident in both my personality and my academic performance. I was, to say the least, crushed. I thought maybe I didn’t have any close friends because, secretly, I didn’t deserve them, like I was fundamentally lacking in some profound way.
As the next fall approached, I promised myself that no matter how hard it got, I wouldn’t stand for people who wouldn’t stand for me. Pushing through my feelings of anxiety and self-doubt, I slowly began to get more involved on campus. Steps as small as just talking to people in my classes and reaching out to them when I needed help was revolutionary. I met my now closest friends in my classes, talking about anything and everything from professors to people in our classes.
Then, I started to take even bigger steps. I pushed myself to join clubs, even a sorority, something I’d never thought I’d do. Slowly but surely, I met people who valued me as much as I valued them, and I saw a massive uptick in my mental health and my grades. All because I pushed through.
Everyone has the capability of being resilient. Even if you don’t feel it, it’s there. If you can push through the bad and scary side and try something new every day, soon enough, you will find that there will be people right alongside you doing the same thing with you. You are never alone. As long as you keep looking, someone will find you. You are worth the battle; keep fighting the good fight.
Sanjana B., New York University
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