Meri Claire W.
Photography by Katie Fox
If you’re reading this, your struggles are valid even if other people are struggling “more.”
I grew up in a well-to-do family and always had everything that I needed provided for me . I never seemed to undergo any large tragedy or have any big life changes. My family and friends supported me well, but I always had a mix of feelings of anxiety and hopelessness looming about my life. I felt guilty about these thoughts because of my seemingly stable life. This guilt made it difficult to open up about my struggles and seek help.
When I got to college freshman year, I had just been through a breakup and began feeling homesick. This, on top of my already existent anxious feelings, made that semester very difficult. My freshman roommate noticed how much I was struggling and encouraged me to try out the Counseling Center. At this point, I did have assignable reasons to go: the breakup and feeling homesick, so I tried it out. However, in my mind, I was thinking “Breakup?”, “Homesickness?”. Everyone deals with these things at some point, so it shouldn’t require professional help. These thoughts caused me to be unable to open up to the counselor, and as a result, I was unable to feel any benefits around going to counseling. The experience backfired in my face and created another block in my mind around getting help.
That summer before my sophomore year, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Though, I still felt guilty. I thought that someone with my “perfect life” shouldn’t be struggling with mental illness. I still did not want to seek counseling, but the thing with mental illness is that it is treatable, but it takes time to learn personal ways to cope with it. Counseling helps with this task tremendously. Sophomore year, I struggled deeply but was convinced that there was no way to get better. Again, my roommate began to notice and encouraged me to look for help or find ways to cope. She offered to drive me to her counselor off-campus that had helped her immensely. She told me that going to counseling was tough for her, but she finally decided to go because she thought trying something would be better than doing nothing. At first, I dismissed this idea; I didn’t want to talk about my uncomfortable feelings that didn’t seem valid in my head. But part of me saw a small spark of hope and light in starting counseling again, and I wanted my friend to be right that it would help me. That piece is what pushed me to call the therapist and go to the appointment.
I am not going to lie to you. During the first five to ten appointments, I still felt guilty and insecure. But I had shared these feelings with my therapist early on, and she was patient with me to open up. She encouraged me to be patient with myself and constantly validated my feelings when I did share them. Ultimately, when I began sharing surface-level details of my life, I began to understand why I may struggle the way I do about certain things. These small discoveries made me feel more and more comfortable each session that my struggles were valid.
Both my friend and my therapist were extremely supportive of any emotions that I felt and shared. This support led me to slowly truly believe that my struggles were valid despite “others having it worse.” I began to realize that if it affects your life in any sort of way, it can be identified as a struggle for you. We all have a different life and spectrum of how things affect us. Finding out this truth substantially improved my willingness to heal and be present with my therapist, and I wish I had recognized this sooner. I now recognize that counseling does help the healing process immensely.
With that being said, if you are the person who is struggling but doesn’t believe that their struggles are worthy of receiving help - I know it’s hard. Our community values make it hard. From my story, know that you are not alone now in feeling this way. But, if anything comes of this letter, I hope that you know that your feelings are always valid and you deserve to be happy and get the help you need. I am here with you, and I will support and validate you.
Meri Claire W., Wake Forest
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