Kristen L.
If you’re reading this, know that no matter how dark things feel, there’s always a way forward.
I’ve learned this through my own journey, one that has been filled with challenges I once thought I couldn’t overcome. For years, I hid my struggles with an eating disorder, depression, and anxiety, feeling like I had to keep up appearances while my inner world crumbled. I thought I was beyond help, but I’m here today to tell you that isn’t true.
Growing up, I was the happy, smiling kid—the one who got along with everyone and seemed to have it all together. But beneath the surface, I battled perfectionism and a constant feeling of not being “good enough.” By high school, my mental health plummeted, and I felt like my life was spinning out of control. I turned to obsessively controlling food and exercise as a way to feel in charge. What started as a coping mechanism became years of suffering with anorexia and orthorexia, leaving me feeling isolated, hopeless, and consumed by anxiety.
At first, I convinced myself I was doing fine because I looked like I was on the outside. I was excelling in school and keeping up appearances. But inside, I felt trapped. Social events with friends became sources of anxiety because they often involved foods I feared. My world, once full of possibilities, became painfully small – revolving entirely around my body and food.
It wasn’t until I hit rock bottom that I realized something had to change. Seeking therapy, the support of loved ones, and deciding to prioritize my health saved my life. The road to recovery was far from easy. I had to leave school multiple times to focus on healing. I feared the stigma, judgment, and failure. Progress wasn’t linear. The cycle of restricting, over-exercising, and depression repeated itself, and I had to leave school again. Each setback felt like a step in the wrong direction. But looking back, I now see those pauses as acts of strength and resilience. Every moment of rest and reflection was a step toward reclaiming my life.
Today, I’m not "fixed," but I am thriving. I’ve learned to manage my mental health with therapy, medication, and coping tools, and I’m proud to say I’ve found joy and fulfillment. One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned is the importance of self-compassion. Treating yourself with kindness can be life-changing.
Clemson University has been a place of growth, laughter, and success—things I once thought were impossible. If you’re struggling, know that your story isn’t over. Healing isn’t linear, but it is possible. You’re stronger than you think, and there’s always hope waiting for you.
Let this be your reminder: you can get back up again.
Kristen L., Clemson University
Connect With Us
To follow IfYoureReadingThis at Clemson on Instagram, get in touch with our chapter, and learn about more resources available to Clemson students, visit our chapter’s homepage.
AUTHOR CONTACT
This author has opted to allow readers who resonate with their story to contact them. If you would like to speak to the author of this letter about their experience, please use the form below.
