Kaitlyn B.
Photography by Kasey Blake
If you are reading this, your feelings are real.
When I was old enough to begin understanding the mental health struggles of my peers, I felt deep sympathy for them. I wanted to help them feel better and see themselves the way I saw them. I had a certain image in my mind of what depression and anxiety looked like based on their experiences.
But when I started at a new high school in a new state, I began to notice things in myself that I hadn’t experienced before. I found myself afraid to start conversations and felt physically sick to speak in front of others. I told myself I was just shy. I lost interest in activities I used to enjoy and simply labeled myself as lazy. As I started to distance myself from friends, I convinced myself I was a bad friend, and that distance only grew. I would oversleep, arrive at school exhausted, and struggle to stay awake in class, which made me tell myself I was becoming a bad student.
I dismissed these feelings, convincing myself that I wasn't struggling with my mental health and that it was simply part of getting older. After all, others seemed to have much bigger challenges. I felt I had no “good reason” to struggle, which only made me harder on myself.
I became trapped in a cycle of distorted thoughts, feeling increasingly overwhelmed. The more I dwelled on my feelings, the heavier everything became. I convinced myself my problems weren’t significant enough to seek help and further sunk into a darker, lonelier place.
It wasn’t until later in high school that I learned there doesn’t need to be a “good reason” to struggle. Each one of us processes things differently, and comparing my experiences to others’ wasn’t fair. Mental health challenges look different for everyone, and what you’re feeling is valid.
When I first started attending therapy, I still had doubts about whether my problems were significant enough to be there. It took me a lot of time and effort to shift my mindset and convince myself that I deserved to be happy. Therapy has taught me many valuable lessons, and I want to share a few that resonated with me. First, lean on your support system. Your friends and family want to see you happy and are there to listen. Vulnerability isn’t a weakness; it takes tremendous courage to share your feelings, and doing so will make you stronger. Lastly, be kind and patient with yourself. I spent too much time in isolation being hard on myself, which only made things worse in hindsight. Having compassion for yourself is just as important as extending compassion to others.
So, if you’re reading this, please take care of yourself. Be patient with yourself, and treat yourself the same way you would treat a loved one who is struggling. Things can and will get better, take it from me.
“Don’t let this darkness fool you, all lights turned off can be turned on.” -Noah Kahan.
Kaitlyn B., Florida State University
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