Laura B.
Photography by Cat White
If you’re reading this, know that I too have struggled with comparison this summer.
This summer, the summer after my first year at UVA has been pretty typical. I’ve traveled here and there, worked at my part-time job– the one I have had since I was 15, spent time with family, and had plenty of alone time too. There have been moments, however, where social media has gotten the best of me by shifting my focus from me and my summer to those who appear to be having a “better” summer than me. Those who have traveled the world this summer, reunited with new friends they have only met this year, done impressive internships, and overall appear to be doing more than me. I won’t waste everyone’s time by saying that a picture-perfect Instagram feed does not equal pure happiness, because sometimes it may and sometimes it may not. Everyone’s mindset and life is so vastly different that that mantra doesn’t work as a rule of thumb. But, what I will say is that comparison is futile. Even if the person with the picture-perfect Instagram feed is happier than you in this season of life, so what? I mean seriously, how does knowing that help you? It doesn’t. If anything, this realization— whether it is true or false— is unconsciously being stored in your mind and eventually builds into major resentment of your own life and others who have done nothing to you. So, what I propose instead is to practice mindful consumption. Refresh who you choose to follow, with choose being the optimal word, and really think deeply about whose accounts bring you joy. And DO NOT feel pressured to follow anyone— protect your peace, baby. Moving right along, let me urge you to limit your time on social media. I know, I know, “Shut Up You Broken Record!” but it really is a game changer. For most of us (Gen-Z), going cold turkey is too drastic, so instead I propose you imagine you are weaning a baby (or a child— IDFK) off of a pacifier. If you rip the pacifier out of the baby’s mouth, he or she is destined to cry. However, if you slowly replace this distraction with another, more positive one, then you will have better success. There is no magic number for how much time you “should” spend on an app, so just find what works for you. All it takes is trial and error. I deleted TikTok in late June and haven’t looked back, then I tried deleting Instagram and that lasted about two weeks. Now I delete it and get it back every day, which may sound silly, but I have found that logging out does not stop me from getting on the app.
*A Note on FOMO: If you feel like you are missing out by deleting an app, you’re not. Truly. And maybe, just maybe it’s a sign that you need to get out more. Yes, this is tough love, but it’s only because I constantly struggle with this myself. I am saying this louder for the people in the back… (ME!)*
Another thing to keep in mind is what time of day you scroll. Both morning and evening are advised against by experts, but there are other times when we are emotionally vulnerable. For example, if you are already feeling off for an external reason, scrolling— even though you may crave it— is not going to uplift your mood. I fall prey to this all the dang time. Try counteracting boredom with another tool, or even sitting with it, because that is when we are our most creative. Need to escape reality for a moment, how about jumping into another world through a book, one where characters are three-dimensional and not flawless.
And as a reminder, these apps are designed to be highly addictive and keep you on them as long as possible, so be kind to yourself. ‘Kay? ‘Kay.
*I mainly referenced Instagram throughout this letter, but you can substitute with any social media. TikTok and I also have beef. Snapchat could be one for you, although if you are in college I would argue you are too old for the app, but that’s neither here nor there.*
So, if you’re reading this, let’s tackle our urge to compare, and in doing so, shift the focus back onto ourselves in an effort to prioritize our own happiness and mental health.
Laura B., University of Virginia
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