Jack V.
Photography by Sarah Tyner
If you’re reading this, you are well on your way...
I write this letter to communicate what I have learned from my mental health recovery process, and to acknowledge what I wish I had known during the time. I am here to extend my hand to you, someone who may be struggling with something akin to what I have recovered from. I am currently the happiest I have ever been, but this is only due to years of proper self care and healthy habits.
Throughout my high school experience, I struggled with very volatile mental health. I suffered from severe depression and narcolepsy, and the conjunction of the two proved to be a very damaging and desolate reality for me. I was constantly exhausted to the point of daytime hallucinations, and I was depressed out of my mind. I began high school as a very energetic, happy, and optimistic kid. However, I gradually began to slip into the foreign territory of clinical depression. What I initially thought to be a temporary funk quickly made itself out to be something far more sinister. I eventually decided to seek professional medical assistance upon realizing this. Depression is a hereditary trait in my family, so my parents were not surprised but simultaneously very thankful that I informed them about the state I was in. I missed the majority of school to attend various doctors appointments, therapy sessions, and other remedial tactics. I started to lose friends, earn bad grades, and disconnect from reality as I knew it. My dreams of running at a division 1 college were slipping away rapidly, and I was too tired to cope with the pain in the way I knew best- running.
Things were not looking good. I was not helping myself, and I was impatiently waiting for things to get better. People continually recited to me to keep my hopes high, to look forward to a better tomorrow. What they didn’t tell me was that obtaining strong mental health does not magically happen by itself. The very fact that you are reading this means that you are on your way to discovering what you are searching for. You have made the initiative to seek wisdom from others. You have outwardly made the effort to do something about your situation, and I am so proud of you for that. The arguably hardest part of recovery is making this effort, which means that you are well on your way.
After years of continual mental and physical misery, I began to understand some very important things. I credit these things, as well as my support base, as the main components of my recovery. In this letter, I share the story and advice I wish I could tell my younger self, and the best reminders that I can give are these:
Stay in tune with your mental health ALWAYS. Have daily check-ins with yourself. Be aware of what helps you and what doesn’t. Maintain a daily routine, because staying busy does in fact help.
Therapy does not work unless you want it to. This goes for almost any mental health remedy. You get what you put into it. Make an effort to see a change.
COMMUNICATE! This means letting your parents, doctors, and friends know what is going on. When you are mentally ill, you are in no place to be your own support base. If you lack this support base, I as well as the entire IYRT team will be there day and night to help you.
Be honest with yourself! Avoid running from the truth. If something is going on, acknowledge it in the way you know best, and go from there.
Be proud of yourself and your progress. Having a mental illness is exactly like having bad eyesight. Needing glasses is nothing to be ashamed of, it is just how things are. Be aware of your situation, and be sure to acknowledge important milestones.
Understand what it means to be alive! Even though life will be unbearable at times, things will get better if you work for it. Like all good things, mental health takes time and effort to achieve. You will make it there, I know you can. Your life is precious, and we want you here.
Challenge all of your beliefs, even if it seems uncomfortable. I found that one of the most effective ways to feel something during a period of numbness was to view life through a new lens. You will never know what you truly believe until you evaluate all of the options. Owning your identity and core beliefs are so important.
Find something to hold on to when times are especially hard. For me, it was Frank Ocean’s album “Blonde”. Night and day, this album consoled me in whatever state I was in. It is helpful to have an ally when it seems like no one is there to emphasize or understand.
Create a mantra or saying to continually embody and live by. Whether it is one or a dozen, it is important to have a simple bit of wisdom that speaks to you. I personally have an entire wall of them in my room to this day.
Know that you are not alone. Though you may not see it, so many people are in similar situations. Similarly enough, so many people love you and are rooting for you. We are all on your side.
I am now living my lifelong dream of running at an NCAA division 1 school, I have found a sufficient method of containing my narcoleptic fatigue, and have the best friends I could ever ask for. I am the happiest I have ever been, and I am so excited to be alive. Quite literally, every aspect of my life has increased tenfold over the course of a few years time. I pride myself in the fact that I conquered my struggles and made it out alive and well. I know you can get there too. How does this happen? What steps were taken to reach this point? How did I know what to do and when? The answers to these questions are different for everyone, and they are for you alone to find out. The best I can do is let you know that I am your friend and ally, and I hope that these lessons that I have learned can be of some help to you.
Jack V., Georgia Tech
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