Julia
Photography by Emma Kraus
If you’re reading this, it’s okay to feel anxious for no reason.
When I first began my mental health journey, I was constantly looking for meaning behind every tiny fluctuation in my emotions. At the slightest feeling of uneasiness I would start to spiral, wondering what I was doing wrong to be knocked out of the happy baseline state that I worked so hard to build.
I studied psychology and neuroscience in college, attempting to better understand both the brain and the factors that impact our human experience. I took classes like developmental psychology and child psychopathology, diving into everything that parents could possibly do to negatively impact their children as they grow up. I fully analyzed my own childhood trauma, assigning and attributing aspects of my personality and attachment style to my life experiences. So it only makes sense that I was primed to try to unpack everything I was feeling at all times.
Over time, I began to realize that while certain situations may have an underlying stressor, other day-to-day microshifts in mood often lack an identifiable, direct cause - and that’s okay! I realized that I had spent so much time wondering what was wrong with me during moments of panic, sadness or nostalgia, when in reality, it is totally normal for humans to experience a spectrum of emotions; some more than others. I’ve come to love being somebody who feels and embraces the full range of emotions, as it has allowed me to develop a rich empathy for others. This empathy, in turn, has served me both personally, in my ability to form deep bonds with friends, and professionally, in my ability to connect with patients.
I now actively try to not be so hard on myself when I’m feeling “off.” Instead of labeling myself as “an anxious person,” I view my increased sympathetic nervous system activation as a fleeting state that will pass. I make an effort to reflect this in my language as well, shifting thoughts of “I am anxious,” to “I am feeling anxious.” This subtle distinction has been paramount in reframing my perception.
While it is definitely important to be introspective and understand the impact that things in your life have on you, overpathologizing yourself can be just as detrimental. I urge you to be kind to yourself in moments of sadness or anxiety, to remember that this is a temporary state, and to remind yourself that you’re not in this alone.
Julia, Boston University
(Disclaimer: Of course, in some cases these states persist, and if you have low mood or anxiety on most days and your quality of life is negatively impacted, you should absolutely seek professional help and not just brush it off).
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