Anonymous

Photograph by Max Di Capua

If you’re reading this, performance anxiety doesn’t have to get the best of you when you compete.

When I first began my freshman collegiate track season, my meet anxiety was through the roof. I spent the entire fall season preparing to compete and eagerly looking forward to when I would be able to wear my uniform for the very first time. However, as that first meet day approached, all of a sudden, I had a pit in my stomach.

I was so nervous to compete, almost to the point where I was dreading it. I saw my first meet as giving me the opportunity to fail, wondering what if I didn’t perform my best, what if I didn’t reach my goals. This mindset was holding me back, I was going out there and just trying my hardest not to “fail”. I found myself underperforming due to this fear of failure. I was then convinced to join an Athlete’s in Action meeting that some of my other track friends had been going to the whole semester.

It was set up in small groups, where a group of us on the team would meet once a week with our leader to go over life (which often ended as a conversation around track since that was the focus for many of us). I eventually expressed how I was almost beginning to dread competing as my meet anxiety was so high, and how I was starting to question my desire and ability to continue to compete. By this point, I preferred practice over competing due to how terrified I was when it came time to compete. My leader expressed to me that my level of anxiety was not something to look down upon at all, but rather showed how much passion I had for my sport. He explained how you won’t be anxious about something that you don’t care about, so I should actually look at this as a testament to how much I care and my desire to perform well. This totally took me aback, and has shifted my view on performance anxiety.

I still think back to this advice I was given 5 years later, when I am still competing in my sport. Rather than shaming myself into thinking I shouldn’t be afraid to compete, I now embrace the fear as it shows the level of passion I have for the sport. Another piece of advice he gave me was to have a single person, or small group of people close to me that I can do “check ins” with during practice/while competing/just in life. These check-ins were very casual and just consisted of us coming together and expressing how we were feeling in that moment. A lot of times this looked like me finding my best friend and honestly expressing “my fear is so high right now.” And she would just respond by telling me she is here with me through this time.

In expressing how we were feeling, we weren’t looking for someone to solve the problem, just someone to be there with us through the problem. Further, by expressing to someone else how you are feeling, you are truly admitting to yourself about the fear you are experiencing at the moment. Expressing your limbic emotions sets you free, and allows you to work through what you are feeling. Rather than trying to convince yourself that there is no fear there, you embrace it, which puts the power for how you perform back into your own hands.

I am forever grateful to have my group leader explain this concept to me. It allowed me to totally change my mind set on competition, as I am no longer afraid to fail but instead eager to show what I have been working on. I am glad to have learned this information early on in my college career and hope it can help change someone else’s perspective on performance anxiety.

Anonymous

Track & Field

Dear student athletes, you are strong, capable, and resilient. We are here to support you on your journey. From around the country, five student athletes have come together for a letter series to offer their open support by sharing their unique, beautiful, and individual stories. Their mission is to create a safe community for student athletes to be there for one another through all the challenges and glories. Your mental and physical health matter and you are not alone.

Letter series facilitated and edited by Gabrielle Pack & Rachael Holp.