Abigail S.

Photography by Riley Rutand

If you’re reading this, remember that you got this, even when things get tough.

The summer before my sophomore year of high school, I had everything planned out. I was getting my fastest times at year-round swim and was hopeful that I would make a state cut that year. I was super excited for my high school swim to start up to see all my friends and race at meets. However, a couple weeks into the school year, all my plans came crashing down.

I started having excruciating abdominal pains and nausea in the mornings, but as the weeks went by, the pain lasted all day. The pain was so bad I could barely eat anything, and I was losing weight fast. My parents realized that this was getting to be a bigger problem than what my pediatrician could help me with.

About a month after my abdominal pains started, I began having appointments at the Medical University of South Carolina with a gastroenterologist. I had many different procedures done to try and figure out what was wrong. During this time, it became incredibly difficult to keep up with my classes and swim. I medically withdrew from two of my extracurricular classes and took a break from swimming. I felt like everything was being taken away from me.

Four months after my abdominal pains started, I had my gallbladder removed at Duke Children’s Hospital. The physical recovery was fairly quick, and I was back at year-round swim two months later. However, when high school swimming started up again my junior year, I panicked. Going back to that certain pool made all the memories come flooding back. I became overwhelmed with worry and started making myself relive the abdominal pains and my other symptoms.

My parents and swim coach were very supportive to me during this time while I saw a therapist to get my anxiety under control. I was nervous and embarrassed to tell my swim coach about my struggles, because I should have been all better. It took some time, but I was finally able to have a normal senior year.

My anxiety stayed away for a few years, until this past September. I started having panic attacks almost every morning before class. I was worried about life after college, getting good grades for graduate school, and just small things that come up throughout the day. I was afraid to tell my parents that my anxiety came back, so I acted like everything was good anytime I went home or facetimed them.

Over winter break my mom found out I was struggling, and it was a relief to finally talk to someone about it. I started up with therapy again and was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. I have been making great progress in therapy, but I still have rough days. It can be difficult balancing my anxiety, irritable bowel syndrome, and not having a gallbladder. I have to limit certain foods, because my body cannot process them like normal, and my anxiety can trigger my ‘stomach problems.’ It is a whole learning process.

I just wanted to say a big thank you to my parents who have supported me during all of this and advocated for me when I could not.

Always remember that no matter how hard the situation is, you got it!

Abigail S., Clemson University

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