Vinisha V.
Photography by Nia Jones
If you’re reading this, it's okay to let people love you.
For most of my life, I have struggled with being unable to accept the love and care people give me. Although this in itself seems like it may be a bad thing, it’s incredibly common to close yourself off when something in your life has gone wrong.
Maybe you don’t have the energy to explain how you feel because you don’t know how you feel. Maybe you know how you feel, but believe that people won’t take your feelings seriously or treat you with care. Maybe this is just an issue that you believe you need to work through yourself.
I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to let people help you.
Whether you believe it or not at that moment, people do love and care about you. They want to help you see the light at the end of the tunnel, and be there to walk you towards it. They want to be there for you at the highest points of your life and at the lowest, and it's important to let them be there for you at both. It’s that much more rewarding when you come out the other end. Something as simple as letting someone sit in silence with you can be incredibly impactful — it's just about figuring out which lines you’re drawing are healthy and which ones are defense mechanisms.
Space, when taken in a healthy way, is healthy. Recently, in therapy, I learned about the 7 different kinds of rest. When I think about rest, I immediately think about resetting by taking a nap, but sometimes that isn’t the kind of rest I actually need. The kind of rest you need corresponds to what your source of energy drainage is. Obtaining physical and emotional space from other people is something that I would do when things were happening that weren’t necessarily related - I was punishing myself by isolating myself from people who loved me.
I’ve learned that isolating myself is something I instinctively do when I need people around me the most. This year specifically, learning from people around me, listening to stories, and going to therapy have all influenced me to look at things like this a little bit differently. I knew about my defense mechanisms before, but now I understand the thought patterns and how it corresponds to the way I function.
IfYoureReadingThis has been a part of this journey.
For the past 2 years, I have been a part of this organization, as letter editor the first year and president this past year. Being able to read letters and encourage people to share their stories has connected me to this cause in a way I hadn’t before.
It is so important to let people be there for you and accept help when it is offered. This is something I am working on every day, and getting better at as I remind myself how important it is.
Being there for people is important. Sharing stories is important. Letting people in is important.
Vinisha V., Virginia Commonwealth University
Connect With Us
To follow IfYoureReadingThis at VCU on Instagram, get in touch with our chapter, and learn about more resources available to VCU students, visit our chapter’s homepage.
