Simrin R.
Photography by Emma Joseph
If you’re reading this, your academics do not define you.
The first time I heard the term “Work Forest,” I (naively) laughed. Wake Forest is an incredible school whose students are not only motivated to do well but truly immerse themselves and learn. I was drawn in by the ‘work hard, play hard’ attitude, and I was (and still am) excited to be around people who are just as driven as me. I also had the privilege of going to a very academically rigorous high school, so I was coming into college with a stable sense of my academic motivations and abilities. However, I quickly realized that this infamous nickname wasn’t a joke. Especially coming in on the pre-med track, the shock of adjusting to the academic expectations of college was not an insignificant one. Regardless of what you’re pursuing, finding a balance between school and everything else is always possible–—freshman year, I just didn’t manage to find it.
I’ve been a very highly academic and driven person from a very young age; someone who loved school and loved to learn. I was lucky to grow up in an incredible home, one where I had access to any sort of support I needed. I had some up and down moments just like everyone else, but true anxiety was never something that controlled me or my daily life. Somewhere along the way, though, I went from being an excited student to being someone whose entire identity and self-worth were tied up with school. The pressure I’d put on myself surrounding this integral part of my life grew so slowly that I didn’t notice until it spiraled out of my control. My anxiety surrounding school slowly crept up on me throughout my freshman year, showing up in ways I didn’t really think much of at the time. It got harder to fall asleep at night, even if I could barely keep my eyes open. I started to bail on plans in favor of my favorite table on the Smith’s balcony. I lived off of Kraft cups and whatever candy I had left over from a Friday night, even with the Pit a mere hundred steps away from my dorm. I was running myself into the ground, yet I was completely unaware of the toll it was taking on not only me but my relationships and other commitments, too.
The tipping point for me is a very “Work Forest-esque” story I both cringe at and laugh about now. It was my sophomore fall, that week before finals when everyone’s workload somehow quadrupled in size. I had three tests one day, the first one being a BIO 160 test bright and early. I walked into Winston Hall with my Celsius and mechanical pencil in hand, and I walked out completely and utterly demoralized. Most people would have taken some time, maybe gone on a walk to calm their minds, before returning to their day with a clear head. I, on the other hand, set a 10-minute timer on my phone and sobbed on the floor to my mom. The very second that alarm went off, I wiped my tears, slipped my shoes on, and it was back to ZSR to review for test number two.
Did this work out at that moment in time? Yes. Was it a healthy, sustainable choice for me? Absolutely not. I was caught up in an exhausting cycle where one bit of negative feedback, one bad grade, or even a confusing lecture could completely derail me for a day or two (or even a week). I’d cancel plans to study and make up for what I thought was a sign of personal failure. This stress surrounding my academics and other future pursuits began to infringe on my relationships with others and with myself, and it took that ten-minute timer for me to realize I couldn’t keep doing this.
I wish I had a moment that I could pinpoint where things began to right themselves—a piece of advice I received or a lifestyle change I made that I could share with you. The realization that living like this wasn’t normal wasn’t some immediate fix-all. It wasn’t some magical bandaid, one that gave me the ability to perfectly balance everything in my life with no stress. What it did do was open up my brain to the possibility of tackling this issue, giving me a willingness to make the harder choices needed to stop the cycle in its tracks and gain control over my own life back. I’m now almost two years out from that moment, and I can confidently say that I’ve reached my best self yet. I finally bit the bullet and got medicated, something that I’m not reliant on but makes my life just a bit easier each day. I not only have found something I love to learn about, but I’ve also found the departments on campus where I feel most comfortable, most supported, and most excited to be (shoutout Education and Chemistry departments!). I’ve found hobbies and daily routines that make it easier to head into my day with an open mindset. I sacrifice those thirty minutes in the library for mealtimes with friends, a yoga class at the gym, or a couple extra minutes of sleep, rather than the other way around. I now prioritize myself as a living, breathing person rather than a list of tasks on my Canvas homepage, and it’s made all the difference.
To wrap up, I want to share a statement that I’m sure everyone has heard at some point in their lives, yet I’m going to say it anyway because it can never hurt to hear it again: your academics do not define you. Everyone’s path in life is different, and no matter how detailed of a 5-year plan you craft, the world has a funny way of derailing life when you least expect it. Take a deep breath, queue up whatever song you’ve been listening to, and hit reset. Prioritize self-care in whatever form that takes for you. Remember, you are so much more than a three-digit, two-decimal number. You are a child to a parent, a partner-in-crime for a sibling, and a safe space for your friends. You are a Wake Forest student, yes, but you are also a club member, a familiar face in your dorm, and an automatic day brightener for someone whom you may least expect. You are on the right track, no matter what you want to accomplish or where you want to go. Save those brutal, marked-up tests for trash day, or, better yet, a bonfire night. Watch the paper slowly burn, and let your stress dissipate along with the smoke. Life is so much more than school, and you owe it to yourself to not just survive it, but make the most of it.
Sincerely,
Simrin R., Wake Forest University
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