Sabrina F.
Photography by Lydia Troupe
If you’re reading this, love tends to operate in the same way, no matter who you are with.
Strategic Miscalculation
When I was six years old I learned that a man would come and sweep me off my feet
I planned my wedding, my family, I knew that my life would be complete
When I was eleven years old I found a boy that I liked
His disheveled brown hair seized my attention in science class, try as I might
When I was sixteen years old a boy took me out on a date
We ate pizza and walked in a forest, to every word that he spoke I found I could relate
Two years passed by, it seemed a best friend I had truly made
And then he went away to a war, just as quickly as he came
The heartache hurt my head, but the naivety wounds were worse
That's just what boys do I had been told, and now I finally learned
When I was eighteen years old a girl told me I was pretty
With her I drank expensive coffee and roamed around in the restless city
Safe I started to think, safe from all the hurt and safe from the heart ache
If boys would bring me pain, then with girls I would gladly stay
One night I drove to her house and knocked carelessly at the door
She answered, then sent me away, and I learned we would be no more
As I drove home that night the lights turned red but I did not slow or stop
It was too late for traffic anyways, but had there been any cars it would have mattered not
Again I had managed to lose someone whom I thought I had truly loved
And once again the naivety splintered me, how could I think that I had won
Every girl knows that a boy will break her heart, so I changed the rules of the game
But life operates by a principle of uniformity, everyone is all the fucking same
When I was fifteen years old I found I had the capacity to love not only men but also women
This sadistic illusion of fate had declared my happiness would be a given
Today I am nineteen years old and have long given up all that pain and frustration
In the past I had not been naïve, it was simply a strategic miscalculation.
Sabrina F. (she/her), Georgia Tech
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