Ryan H.

Photography by Ally Szabo

If you’re reading this, you are not a burden for seeking help.

For the longest time, I have struggled with my mental health and often hid my problems from those I love and cherish the most. I’ve always feared that if I told them or asked for help, I’d be a burden by asking. I struggle with anxiety, depression, and ADHD and I never opened up about what I was going through mentally until recently.

This also goes along with my struggle to go to therapy. The fear of sharing all my problems and insecurities with a complete stranger is one that gave me such great fear and anxiety. I’ve had negative experiences with therapy in the past as I felt that the therapist couldn’t help me in the way I wanted them to. 

During the spring of my junior year of college, I dealt with a series of panic attacks, outbursts, and negative thoughts that drove me to my breaking point. For numerous weeks, I tried to hide what I was going through from not just my friends but my parents as well. When someone asks me, “Is everything okay?” or “What’s going on?” I would brush it off and pretend everything was fine and that nothing was wrong. I didn’t want to talk about it because the fear of being a burden for seeking help was at an all-time high and I didn’t know what to do. I truly felt during these moments that I was fighting off demons in my body. I truly felt hopeless and helpless. 

On April 15, 2024, I had the worst panic attack of my entire life and felt like I reached my breaking point. I felt my heart pumping at lightning speed. My chest felt like there was a knife cutting straight through it. My body became numb. My ears started ringing. My world felt like it was all crashing down on me. And at that moment, I really felt like I was going to die. 

Around 11 P.M., I decided to call and make an emergency appointment at the University Counseling Center because I really needed help like never before. After securing a 1 P.M. appointment, I made my way to the Counseling Center, called my parents, and texted my closest friends about what was happening as my face was covered in tears. I spent two hours in the wellness room crying my eyes out in sheer panic but the response I received from my loved ones was nothing short of a blessing. Here are a few of my favorite responses that made me feel hopeful again – 

“You’re NEVER ‘another problem’ for people.”

“People care so much about you and want you to be ok.”

“You’re always welcome to share with me.”

“The world is tough but give yourself some credit. While you’re chasing success and your way in this world — stop and reflect some.”

“Keep your head up man, bright future.”

“You are so incredibly loved. I’m always here for you.”

These were just a few of them but to say that these words have helped me would be a massive understatement. I felt that there are people out there to help you and you never should be afraid to hide from help. 

I then overcame my fear of therapy and spoke with a University Counseling Center therapist named Sean. I remember how calm and relaxed he made me feel after feeling like my world was tumbling down on me with all I was feeling. Since that day, I have been going to therapy at both the University Counseling Center and with an outside therapist. Over these past few months, I learned that I could get the help I need and become a better person with the support from loved ones who care and treatment from mental health professionals who do a tremendous job at helping others. After being once afraid to speak about my anxiety and depression to those who could help me, I realized that talking about your struggles, your inner battles, and your mental health is so incredibly strong and shows how authentic you are as a person. 

Although I still struggle with my mental health to this very day and always will for the rest of my life, I want to remind you that you should never be afraid to receive help or be a burden to someone else. I hope you find that strength inside to speak openly about whatever battles you are going through and encourage others to do the same. Your mental health matters and your mental health should never be ignored. You are loved by so many people and you deserve to be your best self. Never be afraid to rely on those who love you and support you the most. You have people in your corner and always will. 

With Love, 

Ryan Hartnett

Ryan H., Villanova University

Connect With Us

To follow IfYoureReadingThis at Villanova on Instagram, get in touch with our chapter, and learn about more resources available to Villanova students, visit our chapter’s homepage.

AUTHOR CONTACT

This author has opted to allow readers who resonate with their story to contact them. If you would like to speak to the author of this letter about their experience, please use the form below.