Kricia F.

Photography by Kasey Blake

If you’re reading this, it is okay to care about what they think.

For as long as I can remember, I have been taught that I should not care about others' opinions. I was told that the best way to build self-confidence was to remain “unbothered” and to continue being my “authentic self”. This has never been easy for me. I frequently found myself wondering what was going on in other people’s minds. 

This developed feelings of frustration and anger toward myself. I resented my thoughts and their incessant monitoring of others' perceptions. Eventually, I started to become self-conscious about how much I cared, wondering if people noticed the time I spent preoccupied with their perceptions without their permission. 

There were numerous instances where my apprehensions seemed validated. I am still often told that I “care too much” and that I am “unreasonable.” Like everyone else, I have always had my insecurities, but this one was different. It felt like a persistent dark cloud of thoughts, with rumblings of emotion. A constant battle between my thoughts and what I believed I should think.

I am unsure how I came to the realization I am about to share. If I could provide you with a foolproof guide on how to be compassionate with yourself, I would. Until I figure that out, I want to validate something I wish someone had told me before I had to come to terms with it myself. You will be affected by what others do or say, and you will undoubtedly wonder what impression you made on someone and how it influences their view of you. Whether this happens occasionally or every single day, it is a part of life. The fact that it lingers does not make you melodramatic; it makes you human. We all handle things differently, so there is no need to conform to the “unbothered” stereotype. Embrace those thoughts, be analytical, and know that it is a natural part of being introspective and self-aware! 

Caring about what others think does not make you weak; it makes you considerate, empathetic, and profoundly human.

Kricia F., Florida State University

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