Katie H.

Photography by Emma Kraus

If you’re reading this, I’m here for you. I know we’ve all heard it a million times, but the world is completely crazy these days, and it can feel hard to find stability and peace.

I’m noticing for myself that some days it’s challenging to not feel overwhelmed and hopeless when it seems like everything just keeps falling apart. I wonder how you’re feeling. What have your days been like? What ways have you found to cope with all this?

About 5 years ago now, I was at a time in my life where I was overwhelmed with depression and anxiety. I found myself in a relationship with a partner who did not treat me well, and at the time I believed that was all that was meant for me. I felt like I was barely treading water, and I struggled to feel worthy of anything different. I began self-isolating because I had begun to believe that other people were turbulent and would leave me feeling worthless. This was a really tough period in my life. I struggled to get out of bed, I barely attended my classes, and my self-care was at an all-time low.

Healing took time, and it wasn’t a linear path, but there were two things that helped me most along the way. The first was the community of people I slowly began to discover around me. It was hard at first, but I began to try to be open to people who I was drawn to instead of pushing them away out of fear that I wouldn’t be enough. I found some incredible friends who helped me see that I deserved more than the relationship I was in and that I was capable of growth. Some were people who struggled with similar things as me and others came with completely different perspectives. Collectively, they helped me see the beautiful and special parts of myself that I had lost track of. I was able to reconnect with the aspects of myself that I like, and work on loving the other parts, too. Now I’m here to be that friend for you. Even if it’s hard to see sometimes, I want you to know that you are not alone. Even though we haven’t met, I’m thinking of you, and I’m rooting for you. Know that you are deserving of love and of all the good that life can offer.

The second thing that helped me was therapy. I know the thought of starting therapy can be scary for a lot of people. It definitely was for me. I like to think of therapy as a way to create your own toolkit to learn how to heal yourself. It’s a long process, and finding the right person to help you forge those tools can take a while. During the worst of my depression, I cycled through 3-4 therapists. I remember sitting silently in sessions and wishing I was anywhere else because at that point I wasn’t ready to let myself be vulnerable and open up. If that’s where you are right now, know that it is okay. I believe in you, and I know you will find the path to healing that is right for you.

Everyone’s journey is different, and what works for someone else may not work for you. The bravest thing you can do is try something, take from it what you can, try something else, rinse and repeat.

I’ll leave you with one of my favorite Rupi Kaur poems that I like to share with my good friends when they are struggling.

how can i be so

cruel to myself

when i’m doing the best i can

--be gentle

Katie H., Boston University

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