Jordan R.
Photography by Derek Memmesheimer
If you're reading this, please know that it's okay to not be okay.
I'm not a writer, but I'm writing this as much for me as I am for you. I can always benefit from this particular reminder. I know it's a cliche and everyone has heard it, but for me it really resonates, as I hope this does for you too.
I've struggled with mental health for a very long time and only got help a few years ago. I was scared to become a burden by only talking about myself. I didn't want anyone to know that I felt lost. But it got to a point where I didn't enjoy anything anymore. So, I tried therapy and medication. It wasn't necessarily as simple as that. Within the past 4(ish) years, I've seen 4 different therapists, and been on 4 different medications. That was hard in itself. I did not want to rely on medication to be okay. I wanted to be “normal.” It was a journey, learning to be okay with not meeting some arbitrary expectation of "normal." But now I'm here, to share some advice with you.
Now that I've talked a little bit about my story, I want to get to the important part of this letter. It is okay to not be okay. It's normal to not be okay. Everyone is not okay sometimes, and the people who love you want to know when you're not okay so that they can help. If you aren't okay, my advice is to be open about it. That is not an easy thing to do, so just take baby steps, whatever that looks like for you. If you don't have a great support system, start with yourself. You are your own biggest supporter. Take things day by day, and try to find happiness in the little things. That's a good place to start. Is your coffee really good today? Is the weather nice? Are you looking forward to dinner today? It's always easier to see positivity in other people's lives, so if you need it, ask someone else to pick out something for you. Optimism doesn't come naturally for some people (including me), and it can take a long time to become a habit. So again, baby steps. Remember that no matter what happens, you will always have off days, or weeks, or months. I still do, and that's part of the reason I'm writing this right now, because I need these reminders as much as anyone. No matter how far you come, you will always have times where you don’t feel okay. And that is okay. The most important thing is to not feel bad for feeling bad.
Everything works to make you who you are. I'm not saying that it's all rainbows and butterflies. It can be hard to find the positive. But because of the rough patch I went through, I now find myself to be a really empathetic person that can relate to other people and be understanding. I wouldn't trade that for the world. I want to be that person for other people. Everyone has a different path. You will get to a point where you can grow through what has happened. That is the best feeling. And I promise, you'll get there.
If you're reading this, know that I love you and I see you. I want you here. This is your sign to stay. Remember that it is okay to not be okay. We're all human, we're all not okay. We just fake it. We all are going through life together, so reach out to others for help, and be that person that others can reach out to. I love you.
Jordan R., Virginia Tech
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