Kate M.
Photography by Jackson Covert
If you’re reading this, trust the process.
My name is Kate and allegedly I can be a little stubborn. And a little loud. And a little bit intense. None of those traits necessarily set one up for social success when starting college. If those worked for you, congratulations. In my case, I was friendless by mid-October of my freshman year. I seriously debated leaving SMU and running for the hills. Ever the optimist, I stuck it out, finding difficulty in abandoning my scholarship and a university I otherwise loved. When my birthday rolled around in November, I was feeling slightly better, and planned a huge brunch of 8 girls who I considered decent friends. I told myself: this would be the turning point.
One girl showed up.
I will forever appreciate her for making sure I wasn’t alone that day, but I think it goes without saying I was crushed. It all but confirmed: transferring was the obvious choice. SMU wasn’t a school that wanted me here.
But then I met a girl in the library who did cotillion with my sister, and she invited me to the movies. The movie was terrible, but suddenly I had a best friend. And then two. And at some point, I just stopped counting. Now, I consider my friends one of the greatest blessings in my life. They are my shoulders to cry on, Homebar dance partners, study buddies, sisters, and so much more. (You know who you are & I love you.)
That’s not to say that my 19th birthday was my only or last rejection at SMU. I was once dumped by a boy next to an actual dumpster. Rush? Dropped out. Twice. Dining with Decision Makers? Also rejected twice. Every box I thought I’d get to check in college was suddenly out of reach. This was not the plan. I love plans. But college, and life, isn’t about the “no’s.” It’s about the people who want to say “yes” to you. When you learn to focus on them, life is so much sweeter. Those are the people who make you the best version of yourself.
One of the most impactful “yes’s” I ever received at SMU was to join an organization called the Big Event. If you’ve ever met me you’ve heard me talk about it, but that won’t stop me from talking about it some more. It’s the most amazing organization that pretty much guarantees fun, whether feeding starving children or helping women in need. After three years of membership and various roles, I’m spending my senior year serving as our Director of Recruitment. (Translation: I’ve probably yelled at you while tabling outside of Hughes Trigg.) It turns out stubborn loud people make pretty good advocates for a good cause. So find the organization, environment, etc that looks at the traits that others can’t stand and love you anyway. Don’t settle for less.
In closing, my advice? When you stop caring about following the path you thought you were “supposed to” follow in college, you’ll thrive. God has a plan, and learning to trust it is the sweetest feeling. You’ll change your major, kiss some frogs, change your major again, meet friends who feel like family, find your passions, laugh, cry, and then blink and wonder where the time went.
Kate M., Southern Methodist University
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