Grace K.

Photography by Emma Joseph

If you’re reading this, you are understood.

Throughout my life, I have always felt that no one ever understood me. Not my fears, not my challenges, not really anything. Honestly, this broke me because all I wanted was for someone to understand the way my brain worked and why I was the way I was. 

Truthfully, I never thought I would find a person who understood me. I would sit alone and just repeat how I felt to myself, but I never really shared it with anyone else– that is, until I met Alyssa Totoro. Alyssa and I met on the first day of freshman year at a book club group for a book about OCD. This was the first time in my life when it seemed as if I was actually surrounded by people who maybe, even just a little bit, could understand the way I thought.

For a year after I met Alyssa, it felt as if I was the best I had ever been. I had amazing friends, my mental health was the best it had been for a long time. It was almost starting to feel as if I was never going to struggle immensely again. 

This leads me to the fall of my sophomore year, about a year and a half ago. It was the lowest point of my life. I again felt that dreaded feeling that no one could understand me. I felt insane. Struggling with OCD, anxiety, and depression, there are times in my life when I feel that I am the farthest from other people– this was one of those times. I have only shared this with a few people up until writing this, but I was struggling with intrusive thoughts and compulsive disorder. I thought everything I said would offend people, so I spent all my time alone. I could not stand to be around others because I was just too scared. I almost took a semester off and had never felt more alone. 

But, there for me again, Alyssa. We may have our ups and downs, but I have found my friend who truly understands me to my core, and that is the most special thing I have ever experienced.

If there is one thing I want I leave people with, writing this, it is knowing that at the end of the day, you are not alone. You are understood, even though it might not feel like that. You will find a friend who understands you, just like I know Alyssa understands me. 

                        Sincerely,

Grace K., Wake Forest University

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