John N.
Photo by Mina Derebail
If you’re reading this, you have time.
There’s this pressure, especially in college, to figure it all out: your career path, personal and professional goals, and this idea of “what you are going to do with your life.” There is this belief and pressure that once you graduate, you should be a fully formed person ready for the world and the rest of your life. But I’m here to tell you that you don’t need to have everything planned out, and it’s okay if you aren’t exactly sure of what you want.
College may go by quickly, but it’s just one chapter in a much longer story. Before my time at Georgetown, I got my undergraduate degree at the University of Virginia. One of the local traditions is to refer to grades as first year, second year, and third year over the traditional freshman, sophomore, and junior naming convention. The standard explanation is that Thomas Jefferson wanted to instill in students the idea that they were just beginning their educational journey. While I was initially a little skeptical of this theory and saw it more as a quirky tradition, I’ve learned that he was right. Your educational journey is more than academic; it is a continual education about yourself. In other words, learning doesn’t stop when you graduate. Your first few jobs or even relationships do not have to be final destinations—they’re opportunities to explore, try different things, discover new passions, or dive deeper into old ones.
When I was in your shoes, I felt the pressure to define my career trajectory. I worried that I was running out of runway and needed everything to be mapped out. But what I’ve realized since then is that you don’t need to have a perfect plan. You can keep building the plane as you fly, learning and adjusting along the way. While some people may know their exact route, it is okay if you’re still exploring yours.
As humans, we believe everything will fall into place once we solve the immediate problem. It’s part of what keeps us going and striving for the next breakthrough, but it can also lead to disappointment as we realize that our problems weren’t solved once we got a particular job or even got into a relationship. It’s why we look at people a few years above us–-those who have landed that next job, graduated from that program, or found their partner–-and believe that, because they’ve accomplished one goal, they have everything figured out. The truth is, they don’t. Every age of your life brings its own stresses and challenges. However, you can begin to enjoy the obstacles if you realize they are opportunities for growth rather than signs of failure. It’s okay not to know all the answers because you have the time to learn them and, more importantly, to ask new questions. In short, I’m trying to tell you to be patient.
While being patient with yourself sounds easy, I think it can actually be very challenging to implement in practice. So, my advice is don’t do it alone. Work with your friends and family to build your support network and find your community. Try to be honest with yourself and your network about your hopes and your fears. While being honest and open with your support network can be challenging, remember they want to be there for you. So, use them. Talk to them. Your friends and family want to be there for you. If you don’t know where to start, consider writing a letter. Whether you share it through IfYoureReadingThis or hand-deliver it to your closest friend, writing about your experiences and feelings will help you better understand yourself and others. Hopefully, it will also lead to deeper connections. If you’re nervous about sharing your struggles in your letter, consider writing one designed around supporting and making yourself available to your friends. Sometimes, you must let someone know you are there before they can reach out.
Ultimately, I hope you know that each decision you make now won’t define the rest of your life. There are many routes to success and happiness, and you can begin or switch paths at any time. Whatever year of your educational journey you are in, remember to be patient with yourself, and remember: you have time.
John N., Georgetown University
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