Claire N.

Photography by Cat White

If you're reading this, you can learn to believe in yourself. 

When I was little, my mom would read out loud to my sister and me every night. One particular children’s book that stays with me is The Little Engine That Could. If you’re unfamiliar, it’s a story about a small engine that must pull a much larger train over a mountain. The little engine eventually accomplishes this task by repeating, “I think I can, I think I can!” It might seem silly (I certainly thought so, too, until recently), but this small phrase has been really helpful for me.

Since about first grade, I have struggled with anxiety. My mind has been my biggest enemy, and especially when I was little, I would find myself fighting against my own thoughts. These thoughts were mostly irrational fears, which would completely engulf me.

However, during these moments of feeling anxious or thoroughly overwhelmed when I was growing up, my mom would remind me of the power of believing in myself. I wish I could say I fully embraced this, but I was honestly quite skeptical. I wondered how my thoughts or a phrase like, “I can do this,” could make any difference.

My anxiousness did not get better because I did not seek out help or take my mom’s advice about the power of positive thinking. Starting college forced me to take this more seriously. I still have moments where anxiety and irrational fears get the best of me, but believing in myself has gotten me through times where I have needed it most. Sometimes, it is hard to tell my brain that I can get through challenging times or situations, and that’s okay. I try to give myself grace during those times, too.

When I have trouble feeling confident or capable, I will repeat in my head (or out loud if I’m really struggling), “I can do it,” or “I’ve got this!” and after saying it a couple of times, I start to believe it to be true, which gives me the confidence I need to make it through. I have started doing this even when I’m not feeling anxious because I think it’s a good habit to get into. This way, when the hard times come, I am more prepared since I have been gradually rewiring my brain to default to perseverance instead of fear and anxiousness. Of course, I know that these feelings are normal and that they may always be present in some capacity.

Sometimes, though, telling myself that I can do it isn’t quite enough to shift my mindset. In these times, I try to do something like listen to music, go to the gym, call friends or family, or take a long walk. These other strategies help me to feel calmer and more capable when I am struggling the most to escape heavy feelings. When I am able to reset my mindset, then I’m more receptive to believing that “I can do this.”

Something else that has helped me is the book Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo. This is the type of book that I keep on my desk all the time for whenever I need some encouragement. The title phrase, “everything is figureoutable,” is another mantra that I’ll repeat to myself during hard times, and it's a mindset that I am working everyday to adopt. This book has taught me that nearly any problem can be solved even if I initially have no idea exactly how it will be solved. Merely believing in the fact that just about any situation is “figureoutable” has relieved a lot of stress and worrying during difficult times.

I have also realized that it is completely normal that believing in myself didn’t feel so natural at first for me. Something I am continuing to learn is that everyone is on their own path, and I am exactly where I am supposed to be on my own journey with mental health.

If you’re reading this, know that it’s okay if believing in yourself and thinking positively doesn’t always come easily. It is something that can be learned over time, and these tiny mindset changes can and will have a huge impact in feeling more capable and hopeful in the long term. You can do it!

Claire N., University of Virginia

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