Elliana G.

If you’re reading this, don’t be afraid to start over.

Dear Reader,

For the longest time, I knew who I was going to be, what I wanted to accomplish, and where I would end up. I was ten steps ahead before I even knew how to walk. 

I come from a big, overprotective, loving, and dysfunctional Italian family. If you know me, you know that I make that part of myself well known. I wear my heritage on my sleeve because that is who I am, and who I’ve been all my life. I was taught from a young age that I should never be satisfied and that there is always more to accomplish. Although that may seem rooted in pressure, it is quite the opposite. I would truly be nothing without love and guidance from my family; they are the first people I think of when I wake up and the last people I think of at night. 

Now, being away from them has only taught me that I have more than enough, that my family is what builds me up from the bottom. So, why do I still feel as if nothing is enough? Why must I want more than what I have been blessed with?
I come from a home of relentless spirit, interminable love, and unwavering protection. Frankly, I am terrified to grow up because I know that protection won’t stay forever. I am 20 years old, but I still feel as though I am sinking into princess dresses and walking on my tip toes to be chin level with my sister as we play dress up. 

As I persistently crave fulfillment, I must embrace the fact that it is okay to start over. I am on my twentieth journey of starting over and I have never been happier. I have been through many lows and many highs, but if it wasn’t for the little girl I see in the picture frames, I wouldn’t be who I am today, tomorrow, and the next day after that. 

So, if you’re reading this and are scared to start over or to say goodbye to a piece of yourself, don’t be. Step forward with your head held high and your shoulders back. Look into the mirror and continue to tell yourself why you are here and what you came here to do. So, cry, laugh, smile, scream, and just live because nothing is promised. Continue to start over because that unsettling feeling you have is your mind telling you that you are meant to fail in order to succeed.

Elliana G., Syracuse University

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