Carolyn M
Photography by Blythe Kingston
If you're reading this, trust yourself.
There is this quote from poet Rupi Kaur that reads, “Cry it. Walk it. Write it. Scream it. Dance it out of your body.”
In other words, replace anxiety with action.
In my twenty-one years of life, I’ve developed a formula that keeps me at equilibrium. I journal, go on walks or runs, do yoga, read, and talk with emotionally intelligent friends. The combination of these things gives me confidence in myself. American author Mel Robbins says that “anxiety is a crisis in your belief in self.” It's with these simple acts that I can find peace in times of anxiety.
For me, self-care is not about a rigid routine. It’s about listening to what I need and being present in the moment. I remind myself that sometimes I can be sad or anxious or mad and I do not have to fix myself instantaneously. The “and” is the key part of that sentence. I can let myself feel.
Of the examples that I listed, I want to focus on journaling and speaking with friends.
Joan Didion writes in “On Keeping a Journal” that writing is a compulsion. I’ve felt this compulsion to write since I was a child. I still have the entries from every phase of my life, which is a beautiful collection of my growth as an individual. Journaling is affirming. It helps me see everything clearly on paper or, at the very least, get all of my feelings out in a tangible form. Journaling helps me recognize everything that I am and everything that I am becoming.
A crucial part of the reflection process is cross-checking with friends. My best friends never fail to give me the best advice. Prarthna gives me words of affirmation, saying that it's ok to feel everything. Georgia helps me to find glimmers in the everyday, talking to her is definitely one of them. Ella brings me laughter when I desperately need it. Kirstin gives me grace by reminding me that I cannot manage other people’s feelings. Grace shows me how to show up for people unconditionally. Aimee reminds me that it doesn't matter what people think. Alyssa believes in my strength and the importance of having fun. I love my friends. They inspire me with their unconditional love and they give me much-needed perspective.
Elizabeth Day in her book Friendaholic talks about how, more than anything, friends give you hope. They remind you of your belief in self, validate your experiences, and show you that everything will be ok.
I’m currently studying abroad in London. That decision did not come easy. At one point, I could not imagine leaving my home at Wake Forest. I am working towards accepting all of the complicated feelings of growing up. I accept that I miss Wake, and I accept the feelings of belonging in this big new city. I trusted myself to jump, and now I'm free falling into experience.
Sincerely,
Carolyn M., Wake Forest University
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