Cami G.

Photography by Julia Nichols

If you're reading this, it’s okay to not have it all planned out.

Life in general is full of events and emotions that often leave you feeling fulfilled or empty, happy or sad, excited or stressed, etc. I struggled a lot freshman year of college; everything just seemed to be moving way too fast for me to ever catch up. I came into college as pre-med and a neuroscience major, something I had been set in for the majority of my life. I was excited for school, classes, and meeting new people, but everything wasn’t as perfect as I envisioned it.

After graduating as the valedictorian from a rigorous high school, I was used to being top of my class and excelling in more ways than one. So when school wasn’t going as smoothly, it made me feel out of place and a bit lost. I didn’t really reach out for help to anyone because I didn’t want people to see me struggle. I think a lot of people can relate to that.

I often reflect on the past year and realize that I did try my hardest, but in doing so I had lost a piece of myself. Anxiety is one of my biggest struggles and I didn’t know how to handle it. It came to a point where it completely consumed every minute of my life, no matter how much I thought I was in control.

Eventually, I sought comfort in my sisters and came to realize that perhaps my desired career path was not something I enjoyed anymore. I debated the concept of switching my major for a while, but spring quarter was when something in me clicked to make a decision based on what I wanted and what was best for me. I’m still trying to figure out what exactly I’m studying, but I’m trying a lot of different classes and exposing myself to different creative careers! 

It’s important to know and learn over time that there is not a problem with feeling the latter of an emotion. Antonyms are just as justified as synonyms of a feeling. You are just as worthy as someone who may be living in a different reality than yours. At the end of the day, your mind and body is all you have, and taking care of it in the way that feels the most natural to you is important. Find some time between classes, work, events and even social events to get in tune with how you're feeling at the moment. Sometimes the way you think you should feel overpowers your actual feeling and contributes to a constant rotation of feeling uneasy. I’m glad you resorted to this resource and reached out; even just for a second, to a friend, parent, trustworthy person, even a stranger's words. 

If you’re reading this, it’s okay to not have it all planned out. All my best to you.

Cami G., Northwestern University

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