Please note: In this letter, I write about my personal experience with depression and suicidal ideation. If you think this content may trigger you, I encourage you to take a pause before reading this letter, center yourself, and prepare any resources you may need to access after reading it. If you'd rather not read this letter, I encourage you to read a letter on a different topic. If you’re reading this, I support either choice you make.

If you’re reading this, tomorrow needs you.

I first noticed signs of depression when I was seventeen. A cloud of hopelessness settled over me. I felt unmotivated and often struggled to sleep as my mind raced with distressing thoughts. Activities that once brought me immense joy had lost their appeal.

There were times when I believed things would be easier if I weren’t here. I did not know how to navigate these new thoughts, but I have never been one to ask for help, so I struggled in silence.

It was confusing; I couldn't identify the root of my feelings, which only fueled my frustration. Initially, I attributed my feelings to the pandemic, but as regulations eased, my sense of hopelessness remained. I thought that getting into college would lift this heaviness, but it persisted. Each day felt like a challenge, and I often found myself overwhelmed by despair.

Although I grew up performing on stage, the hardest role I’ve ever taken on was pretending to be alright. I worked tirelessly to project an image of being fine, hoping that if I acted as if everything was okay, I might eventually believe it myself. Despite having a strong support system, I felt utterly alone. I struggled to nurture my friendships as I was not even a good friend to myself.

I refused to accept that I needed help, wishing instead that these thoughts would simply disappear and that I would wake up magically enjoying life again. It took nine long months before I acknowledged that I could no longer deal with this on my own, so I mustered the courage to reach out for support. That conversation was both the most terrifying and transformative moment of my life. Sharing my struggles with someone I deeply cared about felt daunting, but I knew I couldn’t face this alone any longer. Seeking help marked the beginning of a journey toward healing, and I’m grateful I took that step.

Now, I feel like I have finally regained control of my life. Healing has not been a linear journey, but I am truly grateful that I reached out for help.

If you are looking for a sign that things get better, this is it. I'm thankful to be here, and I’m glad you are here too.

Please stay.

Anonymous, Boston College

Anonymous

Bayla H.

Sabrina Z.

If you’re reading this, you are not alone.