Anna H.

Photography by Ally Szabo

If you’re reading this, know that by embracing the changes thrown at you, you can find yourself again.

The day before I left for study abroad, I sobbed to my mom, terrified of the new adventure ahead of me and leaving all my people behind. Most of all, I was scared I would return to school in the spring, and it would never be the same – comfortable, fun, and secure. I was secure in the relationships I had and who I was as a person. Little did I know that in just a few weeks, all of that would change.

Anyone who has met me since January 2024 would quickly understand how important going abroad was for me and my personal growth. It is safe to say that packing my life up and spending four months in Italy last fall was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I began to really understand who I was independent of my friends, family, and life back at home. I began to understand what I – Anna Hennessey – valued: love, loyalty, and confidence. I learned that being by myself could be amazing company. Rome was my home. It was my newfound sanctuary.

So, in October when my best friends back at school told me they didn’t want to live with me in the spring I handled it as anyone in a state of shock might… only for me, this reaction involved sobbing at the Colosseum for a week straight. All the personal progress I thought I had made in finding who I truly was felt like it was now destroyed – almost as if I had completely regressed. All of the self-improvement I had done in Rome now felt useless. I internalized this decision by my friends as a fault of mine alone and went to a place of darkness and anger I had never been to before. At my lowest, I found myself on the ground of my school's building in silent tears, unable to function and barely able to breathe.

As an escape, I fled Rome that weekend to visit my best friend from high school, now terrified that Rome was ruined for me. I was scared that this place that helped me build a foundation of myself was now cracked because of this news. I was at a crossroads until I decided that November morning to fully embrace my last month abroad and put what was occurring at home aside. I removed myself fully from any situation back at Villanova, allowing myself to feel all 4,000 miles that lay between myself and campus. Rome had made me feel a way nowhere else had before. I was able to speak my truth and stay true to the things I now knew I valued. I wasn’t going to let something an ocean away take that from me here.

Coming back to Villanova, it felt like I had to build a new life from scratch – one without the friends I had had in my life for the past two years. I was nervous to come back to a place that used to be so safe but now felt scary to face; it was like freshmen move in but without a fresh start and exciting beginning. I moved in with two new roommates – people I had met abroad – and was more on edge than I had ever been before. I kept thinking they would hate me, or I would screw this up again or they’d leave me, and everything would change once again. I found myself constantly asking them if everything was okay, and if they were happy, all while questioning if they truly wanted me there.

Thankfully, my extroverted personality and newfound exploration of my personal values helped me to stay open to building new relationships. I became quick friends with these new roommates and these girls helped me rediscover what I really valued in friendship. More than anything, they helped me realize that everything happens for a reason and as long as I’m  true to myself, I am okay. I had never met people so fiercely loyal, loving, and strong-willed as these new people around me. If you recall, loyalty, love, and confidence are the values I discovered that mattered the most to me abroad. I also found myself building on relationships I had neglected in the past and building new relationships from them. Seeing these values in my friends helped me to embody them in myself.

So, if I’ve learned anything from my junior year – both abroad and back at Villanova – when doing something new, you must look for if it will bring you closer or farther from your values. Although last year was something I would have never expected, it was beautiful. I changed positively as I began to act in ways that reflected these values and not what society, or others expected of me. I searched my relationships and realized the ones that stayed strong were the ones that were built on things I love. I thank the changes that I’ve gone through as I’ve never felt more whole. While it took hardships for me to fully get to this place, I think anyone can get there. As senior year begins and with it much change, I am grateful for my past experiences to give me the foundation and guidance to approach these upcoming changes with an open mind.

Anna H., Villanova University

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