Alex M.
Photography by Gabriel Herrera
If you’re reading this, burnout is natural.
People started talking about burnout a lot more when the pandemic hit and online learning took education by storm. The word still gets tossed around but with less intention. When I hear people talk about burnout, they’re describing people that fell short; someone who couldn’t get it together.
I find myself sprinting away from that narrative on the day-to-day, and this chase away from failure feels like a destructive addiction. I feel guilty eating lunch for over 20 minutes: I could be writing the papers or attending some networking event. What if that makes the difference on a law school or job application? About 4,500 students get into top law schools. One of them is using the time I’m eating to make themselves more attractive for law school. The clock is always ticking, and I can always hear it.
I’ve found myself in a race to minimize free time. When someone asks why I took a new executive position, why I’m taking 21 credit hours, why debate practice ends at 11 PM—the answer is always “Because what else would I be doing with my time.” It doesn’t feel like an option. I’ve stopped thinking about self-care as time well spent. I’ll be in law school in about 700 days and feel guilty wasting any of those. There's no reason to stop unless I have nothing left in the tank.
There are a lot of successful, hard-working people at Wake. That’s something to admire, but meeting the Wake Forest standard has taken its toll on me—perhaps it’s taken its toll on you too. I find myself coming to terms with that reality time and time again, returning to exhaustion after a couple of long weeks in overdrive. As my momentum grinds to a halt, I realize I’ve been too caught up in chasing a new goal to talk to a family member or grab food with a friend. I tell myself it won’t happen again but, addicted to the grind, the cycle continues.
As I write this, I find that there’s something cathartic about recognizing that vicious cycle. I find it comforting that I know I’m not the only one caught up in the Work Forest mindset. There are other people to talk to about this issue, and starting those difficult conversations can literally be life-changing. I find myself most at home when talking to others who are overwhelmed with big dreams. These individuals exist all throughout Wake, and we should treat burnout seriously by talking about our experiences of it.
If you feel burnt out, remember that you deserve what you’ve achieved. With what you’ve succeeded in, if you have nothing left to prove, yet so much left to enjoy.
Sincerely,
Alex M., Wake Forest University
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