Savannah F.
Photography by Julia Jackson
If you’re reading this, turn your graves into gardens.
Weekends with dad. Mornings with mom. Evenings with grandparents. Repeat. Move here. Move there. Repeat. My life has been consistent of anything but stability. Being a child of seven in a blended family, my upbringing was unique in that there were always moving parts. My parents had to work full time to support their children, and all of us kids had to bounce to and fro visiting our other parents’ households. I was uprooted many times and had to reacclimate to new households and environments. In my adolescence, I was always envious of the other kids that had a childhood house that they grew up in with their birth parents. I remember thinking it was so crazy that some of the other children had their own bedroom! I laugh about that now, but at the time I believed that was the pinnacle of a good life.
Growing up, we never had much money. My mom was a single mother for a long time and was constantly working multiple jobs. My family has experienced a few burglaries where we have lost many things ranging from thousands of dollars to irreplaceable heirlooms, setting us back further. Because we never had much money and my family is so large, most of my family turned to the military. As each one of my siblings were enrolling in the military, as the rest of our family has done, I decided that I wanted something different for myself. I was determined to go to college, but I knew that I would have to pay for it all myself. Little did I know, lacking financial support was just the beginning. As a first-generation, I had no idea how to apply to college: how to get letters of recommendation, how to apply for loans, and what in the world FAFSA was. Between my jobs, I spent hours reading about applications, teaching myself about college requirements, making phone calls, etc. because I was determined to make my fantasy of going to college a reality even if I had to do it by myself.
I call this next phase in my life “learning how to college.” I successfully got into undergrad as a chemistry student and that is when the real work began. Because college is so expensive and I was paying for it all on my own, I had to work a job and I wanted to graduate a year early, which intensified my workload. Additionally, I knew I wanted to go to graduate school, so I was trying to round my resume as much as possible by participating in undergraduate research and extracurriculars as well. But oh boy was I burnt out!
I finished my undergraduate degree and picked up a minor too. I began graduate school where I had to move to a new state. Easy! I thought, “I used to move all the time as a kid, this will be a walk in the park!” Wrong. What I failed to realize is that for the first time, I was completely alone. Sure, I used to move around a lot, but I always had my friends and family around me. My challenge of a hefty workload subsided but my mental health deteriorated, and new obstacles presented themselves daily.
I used to have this outlook that all the odds are stacked against me, and in a way they are. However, I see this as something to celebrate. I am a child of seven and I love having a big family because there are many shoulders to lean on. I may have moved around a lot, but because of those experiences, I got to see and experience many areas of my home state. I never had much money growing up, but I learned to be thankful for what I am given and everything that I have. I had to pay for my own schooling, but that taught me immense dedication, for which I am thankful. As stressful as operation “learning how to college” was, I can wholeheartedly say that I did it. I felt extremely alone moving by myself to a new state, but I am the most independent I have ever been in my life.
So, here I am today. Writing to you as a first-generation, low-income, minority, female in STEM. Let me tell you this: where there is a will, there is a way, so never lose sight of your journey.
If you took the time to read this, know that everything will work out in the end. Maintain perseverance and keep your eye on the prize. There will be bumps in the road and at times it may feel like the odds are stacked against you. Hold your head high and look at those experiences that appear as obstacles in your life in a positive light. Always remember that we cannot change what has occurred to us, but we can control the perception that we hold of it.
Savannah F., University of Wisconsin
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