Sam B.
Photography by Jessica Pentel
If you’re reading this, you will overcome your mental barriers and cope with your internal struggles.
Prior to my senior year of high school, I maintained a stable mood and was relatively unfazed by challenges that presented themselves. I spent a lot of time on the soccer field as well as hanging out with my friends. All of this combined with schoolwork kept me very busy, which was something I actually enjoyed. Keeping myself busy allowed me to escape my mental difficulties that would later bog me down.
The conclusion of senior year marked the onset of my depressive symptoms. At first, the way I felt was very daunting because this was something I had never experienced before. I was not sure who I could turn to out of fear that my symptoms would simply be brushed aside and attributed to external factors. Eventually, I turned to my parents and best friend because I truly was not gaining happiness from the activities I had always loved and I was lost. As my symptoms unraveled, my parents were unsure whether I should enroll in college and sought the advice of a therapist.
The decision to move in regularly for my first semester or to take a semester off ultimately came down to me and I chose to begin right away. Upon moving in, my depression seemed to ramp up and at times felt like an insurmountable mountain. These emotions were coupled with my initial reluctance to make anyone aware at my new school of what was going on. (I even went as far as scoping out the bathroom in my suite when it was time to take my medication to avoid being seen at all costs.)
I found myself struggling to overcome my depression on a daily basis, making it difficult to make new friends at school because I felt like an outsider. During my first semester, rarely was there a weekend that my mom and dad did not come down to Charlottesville out of concern.
My struggles followed me into second semester, but my mental health gradually strengthened in the spring. I came to realize that depression was not something I had to conquer alone. I learned there was a light at the end of the tunnel.
Talking to other people about how I was feeling was one of the best decisions I have ever made. It helped me gain the support system that is crucial to my wellbeing. We should never be hesitant to seek help when we need it, because sometimes that help can make all the difference. I now spend any free moment with my friends and no longer feel like a burden around them. I have made many friends at UVA even after my struggles convinced me that I would never find my niche. The depression that once plagued every moment of my life has now taken the backseat to the genuine pleasure I find in both the big and small moments of my life.
Transparency helped me regain the joyful aspects of my life that I thought had been completely lost. When we are faced with tumultuous times, especially in the face of COVID, it is so important that we have each other's backs because you never know what someone may be going through.
If you’re reading this, life’s most challenging obstacles do not have to be conquered alone.
Sam B., University of Virginia ’22
Connect With Us
To follow IfYoureReadingThis at UVA on Instagram, get in touch with our chapter, and learn about more resources available to University of Virginia students, visit our chapter’s homepage.
AUTHOR CONTACT
This author has opted to allow readers who resonate with their story to contact them. If you would like to speak to the author of this letter about their experience, please use the form below.
