Melanie M.
Photography by Peyton Mears
If you are reading this, make peace with every version of yourself.
Personal growth often comes from those challenging moments when we confront our own paths. The biggest challenge I have faced in the past couple of years, especially this year, has been accepting that I am a completely different version of myself than I was a few years ago, and even a few months ago. Before, I saw these changes as something negative; I had a hard time understanding that, in order to grow, I had to do the best I could with the version of myself that existed at that time. I didn't recognize that every experience, every mistake, taught me something valuable.
Now, I understand that this evolution is part of the process, that learning and reinventing myself is necessary to keep moving forward. Only by accepting and appreciating who I was in the past, I've discovered that I can continue to improve towards the person I want to be. Life does not come with instructions, so the only way you can learn is through experience. Every experience in life, whether good or bad, shows you different facets of yourself. Some positive experiences draw us closer to our authentic selves, illuminating our core values and aspirations, while others not so positive confront us with aspects that require introspection and adjustment. These moments dare us to confront behaviors that diverge from the person we aspire to become. True growth demands that we rise from our falls with a clear understanding of what led us there—acknowledging our missteps, grasping the lessons embedded within our struggles, and recognizing the potential for improvement. This rough path is only possible by a reflective and humble approach—one that prioritizes learning from our experiences rather than simply moving on by ignoring the facts or without digesting the lessons they offer. To move on without reflection is to risk repeating past mistakes, denying ourselves the opportunity for genuine evolution. Move forward with intention, for each step we take is a deliberate, nurturing act of self-construction, tailored to the unique challenges of each stage of life. If we fail to evolve, we risk becoming trapped in a cycle of repetition, condemned to relearn the same lessons indefinitely.
As I began to recognize that every version of myself—no matter how flawed—was essential in shaping the person I have become today, I reached a profound realization: it is crucial to make peace with those past iterations of myself that no longer resonate with who I am. Each of these former selves served a distinct purpose, imparting invaluable lessons that fueled my growth. Embracing and reconciling with the various stages of my life is not merely an act of acceptance; it is a powerful acknowledgment that each moment, each experience, was a stepping stone on my journey of evolution. To honor these past versions is to recognize their contributions to my present self, affirming that they paved the way for my continued development. It is essential to update our self-perception and the narratives we share about ourselves, drawing from our own journeys. Moving forward while carrying the burdens of an identity that no longer serves us prevents us from fully realizing our potential.
It is common for people to hold onto past identities—moments when we may have been less aware, less developed, or simply different individuals. Yet, if we can extend forgiveness to others for their mistakes or for their inability to let go of who we once were, why should we not offer that same grace to ourselves? Just as we extend forgiveness to others for failing to comprehend our process of change, we must also grant ourselves the same grace for our past mistakes, understanding that we did not possess the insights we have now. True inner peace emerges when we liberate ourselves from the need to prove our growth to others. Instead, we should focus on embracing our evolution, recognizing that we are a product of an ongoing journey of self-improvement. The best version of ourselves is not defined by comparisons with others but is instead revealed through the contrast between who we are today and who we were yesterday. This process of self-evaluation allows us to appreciate the depth of our growth and acknowledge the distance we have traveled on our path. In doing so, we cultivate a deeper understanding of ourselves and the resilience that comes from our unique experiences.
The only constant in life is change, so why cling to a version of what I was if I've grown up and left that stage behind? Make peace with your past so that it does not weigh on your future and keep close those "perfect" times as proof and a reminder of the good things that are part of this journey. When we fail to reconcile ourselves with what we have lived through, we allow our past experiences to become chains that limit our present and condition our future decisions. Accepting what frees us, offers us the possibility of moving forward with clarity and hope, opening doors to new opportunities, to new lessons and wisdom without the burdens of pain or resentment. Think of each version of yourself as a window that opens and closes, marking stages of your life. Each of those versions has left an imprint, and together they form the person you are today, with more tools and more wisdom to go through life. The versions of you that went through difficult and happy times, that laughed, that cried out, that lost relationships or friendships or even gained new ones, the one that succeeded, that learned, and that had to embrace each day with more strength to move forward, are all part of your story. You can't move forward without acknowledging and accepting all those versions, even the ones you'd rather forget. Love them, respect them, because they are the foundation of the person you have become. Today, I like to think that I am enjoying every step of this path called my life, my story, and my chapters.
I still have a lot to figure out, to change and to improve about myself, but I am fascinated and committed to keep investing every day to learn and try to be the most authentic version of myself, meaning being in tune with my essence, recognizing both my strengths and vulnerabilities, but in the best, healthy, and meaningful way I can in my early 20s.
Learn to like yourself since you are your own masterpiece.
Melanie M., Florida State University
Connect With Us
To follow IfYoureReadingThis at FSU on Instagram, get in touch with our chapter, and learn about more resources available to FSU students, visit our chapter’s homepage.
AUTHOR CONTACT
This author has opted to allow readers who resonate with their story to contact them. If you would like to speak to the author of this letter about their experience, please use the form below.
