Ksenia C.
If you’re reading this, your past doesn’t define you.
Dear Reader, I want you to take a deep breath. You’ve made it through so much, and I want you to know—you are not broken. You are healing.
Toxic relationships leave scars, some visible, some invisible, but every single one tells a story of survival. I know that the overthinking you may experience can feel like an endless storm in your mind, replaying moments, searching for what you could have done differently. But the truth is, love should never have made you feel like you were too much or not enough. It should never have made you question your worth. You should never have felt like you were in the wrong. It is important to start a new chapter of your life where you can accept that healing is not linear. Some days, you will feel strong, like the weight is finally lifting off your shoulders; yet on other days, you may find yourself doubting, second-guessing, or feeling guilty for entirely valid emotions. Here's what I want you to remember. You do not have to apologize for the way you feel. You do not have to shrink yourself to make someone else feel comfortable. Your feelings are real and valid – something that deserves space and time.
As you step into new relationships, you may hesitate, wondering if your past wounds make you unlovable. They don’t. The right people will understand that healing takes time. The right people will help you and not see you for the person someone made you feel you were. The right person will not punish you for your past pain but will hold space for you as you grow. It’s okay to have moments of fear. It’s okay to set boundaries. It’s okay to protect your heart. Most importantly, it’s encouraged to love yourself first.
And never forget, your past doesn’t define you.
Ksenia C., Syracuse University
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