Katie K.

Photography by Ally Szabo

If you're reading this, strength is shown in many ways.

I wasn’t raised to be this way; I just became this way. My family had dynamics that naturally required attention and care, and while there was always love and support, I learned to navigate my own emotions and challenges largely on my own. In this environment, I developed a sense of resilience and self-sufficiency that became intertwined with my identity.  Independence became my shield, a way to carve my path in the world. I took immense pride in being the person others turned to when they needed support whether for advice, help, or just to share a laugh. I loved being the one who could provide that support, who was seen as strong and dependable. It gave me a sense of purpose and fulfillment, as I cherished the connections I built with those around me. I was the rock, the confidante, the one who held everything together. But along with that pride came the pressure to always maintain that strength, and it eventually became a heavy burden.

When I left for college, everything shifted. I stepped into a new world filled with uncertainty and challenges that left me feeling vulnerable and exposed. Suddenly, I was faced with a reality that made it difficult to recognize myself both physically and emotionally. The confidence I had built around my independence began to crumble, and I found myself grappling with feelings of anxiety and disorientation. I felt like I had lost a part of who I was, and that realization was arguably scarier than asking for help.

The very independence I had prided myself on became a barrier to reaching out for support when I needed it most. In my dorm room, the silence amplified my thoughts, and there were nights when I struggled to breathe, each inhale a reminder of the anxiety that coursed through me, a tightness in my chest that made it hard to articulate what I was feeling. Behind the glass walls I had built around myself, I felt trapped, afraid to break the silence and admit that I needed help. Asking for support felt like it would betray the image of strength I had cultivated. How could I admit that I was struggling when I had always been the one to provide that support for others? Leaning on someone else felt uncomfortable, as if it would shatter the very identity I had built.

I realized that being strong doesn’t mean being alone; it means knowing when to lean on others and allowing them to lean on me. This revelation was both liberating and terrifying. The act of reaching out, even when it felt uncomfortable, became a vital step toward reclaiming my balance.

If you’re reading this and you’re surrounded by people who seem to “have it all together,” consider taking a moment to reach out. Often, those who appear the strongest on the outside may be holding back the heaviest burdens beneath the surface. They’ve mastered the art of appearing fine, of keeping their emotions in check, of offering strength to others even when they feel they have none left for themselves. But just because someone seems composed or self-sufficient doesn’t mean they’re immune to struggles, loneliness, or self-doubt.

If you’re reading this and you find yourself in a similar position – someone who takes pride in being independent, the one others rely on – I encourage you to look beyond the surface of your own strength and remember that reaching out is not a sign of weakness. It’s a courageous act, one that shows true strength. Letting others in and allowing yourself to lean on someone when you need it, can be the bravest thing you do. We all carry hidden battles, and seeking support doesn’t diminish your resilience; it honors it. So, when you find yourself struggling, remember that asking for help is sometimes the strongest thing you can do.

Katie K., Villanova University

 

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