Hope H.

Photography by Jackson Covert

If you're reading this, I’m sharing my story on my own terms.

I walked into the Student Senate Chamber meeting on April 12th this year with confidence. I let our Senate advisor Dr. Norris know that I wanted to explain what had been going on in my life at the end of Tuesday’s meeting – with the Student Body elections around the corner, it felt like there was no other option. The hour flew by in what felt like a minute, and it was my turn to speak. Not even a minute into the story, tears began to roll down my face. I was so embarrassed. The confidence I had just held slipped away, and the feelings came back instantly: fear, anxiety, discomfort. I turned to my left and hid the tears behind my friend Reece’s shoulder. I then gathered myself, picked my head up, and shared the rest of my story. 

For context, during the spring of my freshman year, I ran a school-wide campaign to be the next Student Body Secretary. I was so proud of myself for building up the courage to run in the first place. However, the night before the election, I received an Instagram request from an anonymous smear campaign made in my name (@dontvotehope4smu).

At this time, the account wasn’t following anyone and had 0 followers, so my initial panic level was minimal. But within an hour of its creation, it followed over 1,000 members of the SMU community, including administration and student orgs. The first post on the account contained baseless lies about my character and actions.

To be quite honest, I don’t blame anyone for feeding into it. We live in a world where 42% of young adults get their news from social media and are inherently trusting of what they read. Yes, my close friends knew that these allegations were completely false, but is a complete stranger going to deny what they're reading just because they’re willing to see the best in me? 

The answer is no. 

As I watched the Instagram account go viral within the SMU community, I was simultaneously receiving threatening videos from the man who created the Instagram in the middle of the night. The videos he made personally targeted me, my family, and my closest friends. At the time, I didn’t know who was behind the smear campaign or the threatening videos, so I began to work closely with SMUPD and the Dallas Police to uncover his identity. It turned out the stalker was a 23-year-old man, who delivered my DoorDash one random night, with a criminal history and no affiliation to SMU.

My attendance grades went down, and so did my ambition in and out of class. I felt tired all the time and was emotionally exhausted. I dropped out of the Secretary race and spent most of my spring semester hiding from reality. Freshman year ended with my GPA at an all-time low and my stalker being sentenced to a year in jail; he was exercising his power over me, and I was letting him win.

I decided to spend the summer with friends and family, truly allowing myself to destress. By the time the new school year came around, I finally felt safe and therefore, I was ready – I wanted to take back the opportunities that my stalker took from me and pursue what I originally set out to do.

When it came time to decide whether or not to enter the Student Body Secretary race, I was ready to reclaim my story. Running again meant facing my anxiety and the preconceived notions about me that lingered from the made-up Instagram account, but I was met face-to-face with an opportunity to overcome that. I continued to reassure myself that I was strong, ready, and deserving. I was trying so hard to project confidence from the outside, so I thought maybe then I could believe it, too. 

As I began campaigning, the allegations from the year prior began to resurface. I knew it would happen - it was inevitable - but I was hoping no one would bring it up. After these rumors started to appear on social media, I decided it was time to share the truth of what had happened with those who served in Student Senate on April 12th.

My vulnerability with those around me on April 12th is what truly allowed me to begin my healing process, and let the leftover anxiety go. The tears on my face, as I explained my story that day, confirmed my fear that I wasn’t ready to share the mental toll my stalker put on me, but it brought me an amazing team of support right when I needed it. 

Sharing my story that day taught me that it is only normal to doubt yourself and question what you’re capable of; sometimes all it takes is affirmation from the people around you. My stalker and his ambitions now remain in my past, while I moved forward and accomplished what I originally set out to do.

It is important to remember that you are deserving of all your opportunities and blessings in life. Here at SMU, we’re all on a journey, growing and developing into intelligent, strong, thoughtful adults. You are not on this journey alone, and it’s okay to take your time. When you do share your story, you’ll be met with a great support system too. 

Hope H., Southern Methodist University

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