Gina I.

Photography by Ally Szabo

If you're reading this, there is no correct way to ‘do’ college.

Hi, my name is Gina, but today I would like to introduce myself as a professional floater. On April 15th, 2024, my journal entry reads “It’s a beautiful, 80-degree day on campus. There are so many to wave to, but none to sit down with.” The trees were beginning to bloom, sophomores were laying in the quad, and Conn was buzzing with people (& giant bees). I smiled and waved to so many, but I didn’t belong to a table. And my heart ached from that fact.

Coming to Villanova in the fall of 2021 was a bit of a culture shock. Apart from feeling isolated socioeconomically, it appeared that everyone else had successfully figured their lives out. People had stable friend groups, received internships with high-level companies, traveled the world, lacked financial stress, and earned positions in organizations. While I celebrated the success of others, I constantly worried that I was falling behind (spoiler: I was not, and neither are you).

I was constantly told that my college years would be the best of my life, so I placed all of my stock into the impossible idea that it had to be perfect. I succumbed to the pressure that I would find my ‘place’ and make lifelong friendships. So, when I saw other groups planning trips abroad and popping champagne in white dresses, I couldn’t help but wonder what I was doing wrong. I met so many great people here, yet I felt that I did not earn a seat at their tables.

During my time at Villanova, I was rejected for three consecutive years from my favorite organization on campus, as well as positions in other clubs where I thought I had belonged. I also lost many meaningful friendships. Future bridesmaids turned to strangers and heartbreak persists as, what I think to be, the worst feeling on earth. Heartbreak hurts. Needless to say, I was in a vicious cycle of believing I had found my ‘place’ in college just to be blindsided each year, and this false sense of belonging made me question my worth. I compared myself to others and worried about being judged.

I keep mentioning the word 'place,’ but what does this ambiguous phrase even mean? I falsely convinced myself that I had no support system, meaningful roles to fill, or a ‘place’ to belong at Villanova, but a ‘place’ is not a physical location or set of predefined social circles. Finding your place is not about fitting into a mold or adhering to a timeline. Rather, it’s about embracing the journey, growth, and unique experiences that shape you. It’s less about the tables you sit at and more about how you engage with the world around you and, ultimately, with yourself.

I am blessed with a beautiful support system; my family and friends back home have nourished my life in ways that I will be forever thankful for. I thought for a while that I didn’t belong at Villanova. However, I was accepted as a graduate student, participated in incredible service opportunities, won various writing awards, rekindled old passions, strayed away from my comfort zone, maintained high grades, and made wonderful memories. My rejections opened doors that I wouldn’t have entered otherwise, and there was so much love and joy behind those doors; I feel nothing but love towards the people and organizations who I thought I lost. I have always loved being a student, so I cherish the education I receive here. I deserve to be here, as do you.

They say that college is about finding your people, but it is ultimately about finding yourself. I have struggled with loneliness my whole life, and recognizing my loneliness in college served as a turning point for how I would view it. Time to myself has allowed me to see the negativity I surrounded myself with in the past. I have learned that while friendships naturally come and go as waves, you will always be promised you. And how lucky you are for that beautiful fact! A part of me still fears that when the class of 2025 graduation ceremony concludes and everyone runs to their friends, my feet will stay planted as I move my tassel to the left. But that is okay; we must learn to celebrate ourselves. Being able to comfortably spend time with yourself is a blessing.

Don’t dwell on the false pressure that college is the peak of your life. Life does not end after college. In fact, it’s another beginning. There are no standards or timelines on how to live, so treat each day as your most important. Explore unfamiliar places on campus while listening to music. Sit alone in the student center and see who you stumble upon. Go to those parties that you avoid because you don’t know who else is going. Smile at a squirrel eating a french fry. Take photos of the changing leaves, the flowers, the snow. Have independent hobbies. Facetime your loved ones back home and ask them to see your pets. Burn your favorite candles and live to the fullest, always.

If you’re reading this and your story sounds like mine, you’re not ‘doing’ college wrong. I promise. Cherish the time you have in college, both with yourself and others. It truly does go so fast.

Gina I., Villanova University

Connect With Us

To follow IfYoureReadingThis at Villanova on Instagram, get in touch with our chapter, and learn about more resources available to Villanova students, visit our chapter’s homepage.

AUTHOR CONTACT

This author has opted to allow readers who resonate with their story to contact them. If you would like to speak to the author of this letter about their experience, please use the form below.