Gavin O.
Photography by Jessica Pentel.
If you’re reading this, know that your vulnerability can become your strength.
Ever since I was young, I have had to deal with a stutter presumed to be from medical induced trauma. It has been a defining factor in my story, I am not going to lie. You think you can imagine the number of people who have asked about it, but you can’t. It’s quite intimidating when people assume it’s just a nervous tick or a one-time occurrence. When people begin to realize it’s not, there are typically two reactions, they pity you or they tease you. To this day I can’t tell you which one is worse.
For a while in my earlier years of school, I was severely teased and taunted because of my inability to easily express my thoughts vocally. This pushed me down to a really low place. As a person who has struggled with chronic anxiety for the majority of my life, the low I felt was exponentially compounded. Finally, with time and support I moved on from this low. It was from this low, I was able to rebuild my perspective on life and feel truly confident in myself because of the community of acceptance and patience that I had built and that had surrounded me.
Some professionals preach that you should come up with alternative phrases to the ones that trigger your stutter...but when has avoidance ever really fixed the problem? Coming to college I became a leader in many different organizations and grew in confidence. I was finally presented with opportunities to vocalize what I feel physiologically, mentally, and emotionally when I stutter. To be honest, it changes. Here’s where the good news comes in. Sharing your story will provide healing for yourself and encourage others who experience the same things.
I write this letter both as an encouragement to those who have not vocalized their own struggles as well as a way to educate people on the phenomena of stuttering. Stuttering and other disabilities and mental illnesses need to be destigmatized but how is that going to happen if we are afraid to speak out about them? (How ironic for a person with a stutter, am I right?) Do not back down from the challenge that faces you. Scream back in the faces of your challenges and confront them head on so that you can be renewed in your strength.
Be patient with everyone because not everyone’s flaws are as apparent as mine. Stuttering might be more apparent than the lurking challenges with eating disorders, depression, and anxiety that are so much more prevalent. So, step up, UVA. Be strong, be courageous, and be vulnerable. Use your struggles to lift yourself up to new heights.
Gavin O., University of Virginia
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