Essence C.
Photography by Maluk Jones
Dear Reader,
Essence’s letter describes her personal journey with grief following the suicide of a friend. We advise those who may be triggered by this topic to exercise caution when reading this letter. If you are struggling, please reach out to one of the resources listed on our Resources Page. If you're reading this, your feelings are valid.
Sincerely, The IfYoureReadingThis UofSC Team
If you’re reading this, I want you to know that you’re going to be okay.
It’s easier said than done at times. Prioritizing your mental health comes first before anything. When I think of mental health, it’s a complex thing to understand. There are so many factors that can contribute: family, friends, or school itself. Back in 2018, I lost someone to suicide. I never thought I would be in that situation. It was hard for me to believe or grasp. I would’ve never thought it would be him to take his own life. He always seemed happy. Then again, you never know what someone is going through internally. Mental health appears in different waves of emotions.
I remind you all who read this, please be patient with one another. It’s okay to not bottle your emotions. Express your feelings or struggles to a loved one, a friend, or someone you’re close to. Losing my family member and one of my best friends to suicide is something I wasn’t prepared for. Everything falls silent. I always think of our last conversation we shared. I was a freshman in high school. He told me, “I hope you have a great school year. You’re growing up. Make sure to get involved in activities in school.” It’s surreal because he and I always talked to each other, but this conversation was different than the others. This was the longest conversation that we had. Most importantly, the last conversation that we had. It was our last goodbye and farewell. The pain and heartache never disappears.
I address this experience because as I said in the beginning, you’re going to be okay. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to express a whirlwind of emotions. Your mental state is always important. You’re important and you matter in every aspect of life. Life is short and live every ounce with no worries. A quote I live by states, “be gentle with yourself- you’re slowly growing into the person you’ve always wanted to become.” This quote comes from an author named Patience Tamarra. The book is titled “Dear Self.” It has quotes that advocate for mental health.
This book guided me to discover myself and my emotions. Doing hobbies that I used to do as a child makes me happy. It’s like I’m making my younger self proud. I’m making that little girl proud of who I am becoming. Make yourself proud by not giving up and giving yourself credit.
Become the best version you strive to be.
Essence C., University of South Carolina
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