Caitlin M.
Photography by Ashley Kung
If you’re reading this, know that even if you feel lost right now, everything is going to work out exactly as it should.
When I started my undergraduate degree, I was certain that I wanted to pursue a career in Physical or Occupational Therapy. But as time went on, I began to question my path. On top of this, I faced the overwhelming pressure of being told that your grades determine your entire future and that if you don’t excel in every class, you’re a failure. I let stress and anxiety control me, leading to many sleepless nights, panic attacks, and physical illness. I failed exams, lost touch with friends, and even lost 30 pounds. I was on a terrible spiral until my Orgo II professor saw these changes and said, “Hey, let’s figure this out.” She walked me to our campus counseling center—something I would have been terrified to do on my own—and that moment changed my life forever.
I received accommodations like extra time on exams, learned breath control techniques, and the most important of all, was introduced to yoga. My health improved, my grades got better, and I reconnected with my social life! I made it out of undergrad, took a gap year to reevaluate my passions, and switched paths towards nutrition research. When I started graduate school, I felt myself falling into the same unhealthy habits. Stress was overwhelming me, my appetite was dwindling, and I was in a new place without any friends. I swore I wouldn’t go down this path again, and just in time, I found my community and second home at a brand-new yoga studio in town. This place and these practices have been my rock and safety net, leading me to new passions that I now share as a certified instructor.
Everyone assured me that life would work itself out, but anxiety and imposter syndrome made it impossible to believe them. But guess what? That 70 in Orgo II was just a hiccup. My 3.3 GPA didn’t matter. And at 30 years old, with a BS, MS, and PhD, I still feel uncertain about where life will take me. But I was recently reminded by a very accomplished member of the USDA that 1) more people feel this way than you know, and 2) if we follow our passions, and seek out opportunities, everything else will fall into place.
The best advice I can give is don’t let the pressure of academics or societal expectations consume you. Set attainable goals but know that you weren’t put on this Earth to check off a to-do list for the rest of your life. Cultivate relationships, invest in your health, take rest days, and do the things that inspire you. If you’ve made it this far, just know that I wholeheartedly believe in you, and I am always, always here if you need a friend to talk to.
Caitlin M., University of Florida
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