Brielle T.
Photography by Emily Daly
If you’re reading this, always remember that your struggles are valid too.
Selflessness: a characteristic I have always strived for, always trying to put the needs of others before myself. Coming to college, I carried this same moral with me. Little did I know that choosing to neglect the needs of myself would cause the mental downward spiral I have been experiencing these past two years as a college student.
I was taught from a young age that there are always people who have it worse than me, always someone dealing with something far greater than anything I’ll ever go through. So when I struggled with bullying, anxiety, and eating disorders from a young age, I always told myself these small concerns were not valid compared to the obstacles the people around me are battling.
Because of this mindset, I developed the toxic habit of keeping everything hidden. Every emotion that differed from my happy image was locked away and ignored. My mind had convinced me that my job was to make sure those around me are okay, instead of myself. I believed the lie that my struggles are not valid.
The weight of hidden obstacles I had been carrying most of my life only became heavier when I moved away to college. These struggles I labeled as minor soon worsened, taking control of my every thought. I was no longer able to be there for the people I loved in the ways I wanted to. My self-inflicted neglect had taken over. I wish I had known before that in order to take care of others, I have to take care of myself first. I cannot be the person my family and friends need me to be when I’m hiding a war inside my head.
Thinking of yourself every once in a while does not make you selfish. Everyone is battling their own obstacles at some point, including yourself. In college, you are forced to be more independent than ever and with that comes a new awareness of yourself. I’ve finally learned to stop hiding what’s destroying me on the inside. I’ve finally stopped acting like everything is okay so that I can be there for everyone else. I’ve finally stopped ignoring my needs to focus on the needs of others. And I’ve finally started to believe that my struggles are valid too.
Being selfless is an amazing characteristic to have, but when that turns into neglecting yourself, it becomes a monster. It’s so important to focus on yourself when you need to, address when there’s something wrong, and take the right steps to fix it. Locking everything away inside your head will only make the weight heavier. Focus on yourself first, since that’s who you truly spend the most time with. Always remember that no matter how big or small, your struggles are valid too.
Brielle T., Clemson University
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