Jasmine
Photography by Rachel Anderson.
If you’re reading this, let’s add to the “Be Kind” lesson. Be kind to yourself.
There is beauty in being kind. It’s a warm feeling that not only the person being kind receives but the receiver as well. For every kind of action, there is almost always someone who will take that action and remember it for the rest of their life. For some, being kind has been ingrained in their learning from the start.
The earliest memory I have of “officially” learning this lesson is at my preschool. The colorful walls were filled with scribbled drawings, and bulletin boards were decorated.
Alphabet posters of different variations hung on the walls with letters attached to a picture and a word.
A is for Apple.
B is for Bear.
C if for Cat.
Also on the wall was a poster with rules.
“Be nice. Sharing is caring. Raise your hand. Use walking feet.”
There were simple rules that were difficult for preschoolers, who wanted to be in charge, to follow. Even so, during circle time, we would recite these rules to the teacher.
The “Be Nice” rule was a rule that seemed to be everywhere. Even if it was not explicitly said, it was an implied rule in society. So I followed the rules and complimented the rest of my classmates by telling them I liked their shoes and hair. I’d help my classmates out as much as a 4-year-old could—small things like that.
As I got older, the rule evolved.
“Be treated the way you want to be treated.”
The logic was simple. If I wanted to be treated kindly, I needed to treat others kindly as well.
When someone was feeling down, I would comfort them. Whether it was a bad test score or just a bad day I comforted them saying, “It was okay. You will do better next time.” But I would not give myself those words of comfort. I was merciless with myself.
If someone reached a milestone or an achievement, I would be there to cheer them on. I would be so proud of them but I would not be proud of my own achievements. Instead, I would keep quiet about them because other concepts were now attached to being kind. Soon being kind meant being quiet so others wouldn’t be hurt. My achievements were now muddled in sadness because my achievements made my friends cry. I couldn’t be happy because it could now be interpreted as bragging and hurting my friend.
Being kind led to others just asking for help all the time since I was reliable. I would drop everything and rush to their aid. I do not regret helping them. But when I needed help, I would not give myself the comfort of asking for help. Asking for help was hard.
Many people told me I had a big heart. But it was only recently that I realized I had a big heart for everyone but myself. I only held myself to harsher standards. Along the way of learning the lesson of being kind, I forgot to be kind to myself.
“Be kind to yourself.”
So I made the effort to be kinder to myself. Resting when I should. Not being hard on myself when I did badly on exams. Regardless of the result, I would treat myself to something sweet. Asking for help is still something I’m continuously working on but overall I think I am doing a much better job than when I first started at Tech.
If I could be kind to friends and strangers, I could be kind to myself. It’s such a silly lesson that it is easy to forget. I hope that we can all continue to be kind to others but most importantly ourselves.
Sincerely,
Jasmine
Jasmine, Georgia Tech
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