Alex L.
If you’re reading this, you are the only person who can decide if you’re successful.
I’m writing this because I think I have had a successful day today. What did I do? I attended two classes (one was golf) and made my bed. It’s almost dinner time, and I’m sure most of my peers would count this as a lazy day.
When I was in high school, I used to think my success depended on a handful of factors, limited to my sports and academic achievements, GPA, and just about any other quantifiable measure that another person could look at and say, “Yeah, this person looks impressive.” I was on autopilot for all of high school, doing whatever I could to throw on my college application that would ultimately bring me to UVA. When I got to UVA, I realized that success was more than just some numbers on a page. I was now told that it was about the clubs I joined, the majors I pursued, and the jobs I could potentially get out of college. Hearing this advice, I loaded up on as many credits as I could so that I could have two majors and a minor and packed my free time with extracurricular clubs and sports that I told myself I needed to do, and attended just about every event that promised me a step towards a glorified career. By the time I was in my third year, still on the same autopilot that I was in high school, I felt burned out, overwhelmed, and honestly hopeless. Is this what success is supposed to feel like?
It was during my third year that I realized I didn’t actually care about the things that occupied my time. I realized that there was no one out there ready to shame me if I had an off day or didn’t meet some sort of expectation that I thought I had to set for myself. The relief I felt just being able to drop a club or a minor and fill that time with something I enjoyed was refreshing. I saw my friends more often, learned about history, and spent hours of my week outside. Sometimes, the only agenda you need to have is none at all. The deeper purpose behind something can simply be because you want to do it.
Especially at a school like UVA, it’s easy to get caught up in comparing yourself to others and internal pressure to achieve certain expectations. After all, you are your biggest critic. But you are also the most important source of your own validation, not a by-the-book idea that you might have of success. Success has nothing to do with the person you may think others expect you to be. It’s about the way you feel and the experiences you make for yourself on a daily basis that allow you to feel. If you want, chase those goals. Working hard towards something bigger can bring incredible fulfillment. Or, if you want, step back and give yourself the time to do or not do whatever you want. But don’t take it from me. If you’re reading this, you are already successful because nobody can tell you otherwise. That is up to you.
Alex L., University of Virginia
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