Taormina C.

Photography by Carolina Bellon-Garcia

If you’re reading this, your animal loves you.

They say a dog is a man’s best friend. I say they’re family. I have always been referred to as, “an animal person”. I found this to be strange. Aren’t we all animal people? 

One of the first questions I usually ask people when I meet them is, “Do you have any pets?”. To which I secretly hope they return the question, as I already have pictures pulled up and ready to share. 

Simply put, I love animals. It’s not simple though, is it? Nothing rarely is. I remember begging for a dog since I could learn how to talk, or shortly after at least. I played with the dogs in our neighborhood growing up and was in awe of the idea that I could have my own. My own dog to cuddle, feed, walk, and even clean up after which was always my mom’s biggest concern when considering getting one. At six years old, I stepped up and proclaimed to my family that I would take complete responsibility for our future family dog. I was eager to prove that I was more than capable and wanted to show that to my family. 

The time finally came and we started going to animal shelters and adoption agencies in search of a puppy that would fit into our family. What I did not expect, however, was to find a piece of my family that we didn’t even know was missing. I was just nearing the end of first grade, when we found Mariposa, a one year old labrador and pitbull mix. She was at the back of the kennel and I could feel her fear and anxiety from where I was standing. I immediately knew we couldn’t leave without her. My family agreed and my mom and I finalized the paperwork to take her home. As we did this, the staff at the shelter explained to us that they had a surplus of dogs at the moment and Mariposa was scheduled to be euthanized that very night. I was too young at the time to comprehend what this meant, but my mother was extremely moved by our ability to save such a beautiful life. A life that would end up saving ours for years to come. 

Mariposa was the name they had given her at the shelter. My mom reminded me that we used to go to a restaurant with her grandma, named Mariposa. My mom was very close with her grandma, who had just recently passed, and it was clear to us. This is our dog and Mariposa is her name. We kept that name and Mariposa joined our family, although I am certain she was always a part of it. 

Mariposa was my best friend and I was hers. My family life from this point forward became rather unknown and chaotic. Mariposa was never unknown or chaotic. She was there every day and every night no matter where we were or what was going on. Not only was she there, she took care of us. Taking care of her took care of us. 

One day, she was incessantly crying and sniffing my mom’s chest. My mom was already looking into some health concerns, and Mariposa’s behavior solidified my mom’s suspicions. She went in for tests and found out that she had breast cancer. To this day, my family and I give Mariposa credit for saving my mom’s life. She saved all of our lives. And she continued to do so.

Mariposa was kind and gentle, she never barked much and when she did, we listened intently to understand what she was saying to us. She was not as much shy as she was timid, you could tell she had experienced some hardships before meeting us and was doing her best to protect us from any hardships that would come our way. 

She was also my brother’s best friend. Growing up, my brother was not a man of many words. He also found himself to be timid in situations and rather apprehensive of the world around him because he knew all too well what it contained. He also knew he could count on Mariposa. He could count on her to move over in her own little dog bed so that he could lay with her and heal. She was a healer, as was my great grandma. 

Her anxiety got worse over time and we decided to treat it with medicine. This was also around the time I was leaving for college and also began my journey with psychiatric medication. A part of me felt like we were in it together, as we had always been. I really could not imagine my life, my family, and even my home without Mariposa. 

Every time I would leave home and come back to Tallahassee for school, I would fear I wouldn’t see her again. This would happen every time, and every time, Mariposa waited for me to come home to see me again. At almost 16, even her doctors were amazed with her health and the way her entire attitude would perk up when I came home from school. She would go from not even walking when I was away, to actually jogging with me when I was home. She knew I needed her and refused to leave me. 

Sophomore year of college proved to be a very tough year for me. I had made amazing friends, however, I was not living with them. I was living with four other girls who I had just met and began to isolate myself in my room. I would stay at my friends house until it was so late that we were falling asleep and eventually go home. Without fail, every night I felt overwhelmed with loneliness and longed to be home with Mariposa again. 

After about two weeks at school, my best friend asked me to pick up a cat from Craig’s List that she had found and wanted to adopt. I was busy, in a therapy appointment, ironically, and unfortunately could not go. I came over as soon as she rescued the baby kitten and fell in love. She was covered in fleas and dirt and my instincts took over. I bathed her and searched through her fur to make sure there were no bugs bothering her. As my friend pleads to her mother about keeping this kitten, her mom explains that their family dogs would not get along with a baby cat. This devastated me. I called my brother and explained the situation and we left the next day back to Miami with our new kitten to come up with a plan as to how we could keep her. I knew I was not going to take no for an answer. 

Upon arriving home, Mariposa was intrigued at the little ball of fur I had brought into our home. She was very polite and almost acted as a big sister to what would soon become her little sister! My family and I decided that it would be in my best interest if I had an animal with me at school. They knew I had been feeling lonely and saw an immediate fix. And so, I became a cat mom!

After about two weeks with my new pet, my friends shared that this kitten actually had a brother from the same litter. My heart broke immediately. I had separated a brother and sister. I understand this is normal with animals, however, it did not sit right with me. I called my brother back and explained the situation. I wasn’t planning on keeping her brother myself, however, I knew we were not leaving him with the man from Craig’s List. 

As you may have guessed, after fostering her brother while I looked for a home for him, I ultimately decided I could not separate these two kittens. I called my brother again. It was decided, I would be keeping both cats. 

And so, I was 19 years old, relatively new to Tallahassee, and a mother of two cats who were actually siblings. A dream I didn’t even know I had was coming true. 

Unfortunately, about a year after these new additions joined our family, Mariposa’s health became serious. She lived a long and happy life and when it came to an end, we held her in our arms and thanked her for 16 years of kisses and tail wags. I can’t imagine what my life would have looked like without her and feel grateful every day that I was lucky enough to love her as much as I knew she loved me. 

I miss her every day, although I am always reminded of the love she gave me when I look at my cats. They love me. They love me when I’m sad, when I’m happy. Whether I’ve failed a test or slept through an alarm. They still love me. They know when I am hurting and refuse to leave my side. I know they are able to love me because of the way Mariposa loved me. She taught me the impact that an animal can have on your life, whether you are struggling or not. 

My cats are named Elfo and Luci, after a cartoon show I watched often when I first got them. They were so small, I would put them in my jacket pocket when I went over to my friend’s house to surprise them. I even once used a trader joe bag to walk them across the street and got some funny looks when people heard meows coming from my jacket and grocery bags. My cats give me a reason to get up. If I don’t feed them, no one else will. If I don’t clean their litter, no one else will. They count on me and know I would never disappoint them. I learned this from Mariposa. As I stated earlier, I proclaimed at six years old to care for Mariposa, in any way she needed. It is because of this that I now care for my cats so well. I did not know that this timid dog from the shelter would change mine and my family’s life so much. I know that if we didn’t have her, I wouldn’t have gotten my cats because it would have been a big change for my family to learn to take care of an animal on such short notice. 

If you have an animal, you likely understand where I am coming from with my letter. Life is unknown. Coming home to my cats eager to see me every day is certain. Mariposa was my certainty in a life which was lacking. 

Mariposa is Spanish for butterfly. I feel strongly connected to butterflies, my great grandma, and my family, all because of Mariposa. To have been loved by her and now my cats will always be my life’s greatest joy.

Taormina C., Florida State University

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