Stella T.
Photography by Nia Jones
If you’re reading this, you can be a person of support.
As someone who hasn’t dealt with serious mental health issues, I’ve struggled with my ability to believe that I can be there for my friends who do. I often can’t relate to the experiences they share with me, and I am never sure what the best advice to give is. But I’ve come to realize that’s okay. I don’t need to relate to everything. I don’t need to give them advice, even if that feels like what I’m supposed to do.
The most important thing is to be there for them. To be there as a friend to listen. To be there after a long day and share a much needed hug. To be there for as long as they need me to be.
When providing support, the key is understanding the person you are supporting. What can you do specifically for them as an individual? Different people want to be supported in different ways, so ask questions about how you can help. Knowing the person’s love language can help provide guidance. Do they want to hear words of support? Do they want to spend time together? Do they want to receive small, thoughtful gifts or acts of service?
Whatever it is, try using these methods to provide support in addition to simply checking in on a regular basis to see how they’re doing.
Even in providing these small acts of support, feeling unqualified to give advice can still be intimidating or overwhelming. If you don’t know what to do or say, ask questions instead. Do your best to understand the situation to the fullest extent possible while respecting your person’s boundaries. And even if you haven’t experienced exactly what the person you are supporting is experiencing, we as humans learn universal lessons that can be applied to a multitude of situations. Your point of view is still valuable and can be relevant to the person you are supporting.
Using these techniques has helped me learn how to be there for the people I love and feel like I have a place in their circle of support.
So if you’re reading this, you can do it too.
Stella T., Virginia Commonwealth University
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