Sneha D.
Photography by Aarushi Patel
Before reading this letter, we'd like for you to know it discusses Sneha’s experience with suicidal ideation. If you think that reading about this will be triggering for you, we encourage you to take a pause before reading this letter, center yourself, and prepare any resources you may need to access after reading it. If you'd rather not read this letter, we encourage you to read a letter on a different topic, such as Dana’s letter. If you're reading this, your feelings are valid.
If you're reading this, I believe in you.
I believe that you are a kind person. I believe that you have a beautiful smile. I believe you have a vibrant personality. I believe you are intelligent. I believe you are resilient. I believe you are strong. I believe you are capable. I believe you’re a good person. I believe you deserve good things.
Above all, I believe you are enough. Even if you don’t, I believe.
Mental health is something I've struggled with since I was a kid. It wasn't until college when I confronted the stigma surrounding it and accepted professional help. Being diagnosed with C-PTSD and Bipolar Disorder, there were countless times I believed things wouldn’t get better.
I didn't believe in a future. I didn't want to be a part of one because it was hard to get up everyday. I didn't care about a future because I believed I would be better off without one. Second semester of junior year was when I had the most intense suicidal ideation I’ve ever experienced. It was passive, it always was. But this time I felt unsafe being around myself. The pain was unbearable. In hindsight, I should've gone to the hospital instead of lying to my psychiatrist.
Flash forward to April 2024, I’m a senior graduating in less than 50 days with a major in product design and a minor in media studies, a dream come true. In my spare time I plan fundraising events for Active Minds, a mental health org, which I credit a lot of my progress in my mental health journey to.
I wake up to the best view of the James River while rowing for VCU Crew. I stay in touch with my roots harmonizing with my South Asian Acapella team, Arabhi. Believe it or not, a lot can change. I've been going to therapy and taking medications for the past two years and although things aren’t perfect, I've learned to appreciate being here and always count my blessings.
I changed from the person who couldn’t stand to see herself in the mirror to the person who liked herself, perhaps not all of herself, but still had nice things to say. I became the person who believed that my dreams were real, my life was real, and that I could make something out of it.
If you're in a place of feeling like there’s no end, no reason, and no place for you, use this letter as a reason to not give up on yourself. I promise things will get better. I believe that you can change. I believe that your past mistakes don’t define you. All you can do is do better today and try again.
It's okay if you don’t believe, but don't ever forget that there’s other people out there who do believe in you. People care and are willing to help you, you just have to let them in. They believe in you and love you more than you know. Don’t listen to the voice that tells you that you are alone, because you’re not. There’s a community of people that are here for you. We are here for you. I'm here for you.
I wouldn't be writing this letter if it wasn’t for the support of my community at VCU, my mental health care providers, and most importantly my dear friends (Mika, Aanch, Keer).
Thank you for believing in me when I couldn't believe in myself.
Sneha D., Virginia Commonwealth University
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