Sarvani K.

Photography by Derek Memmesheimer

If you’re reading this, do not let anyone take up your space.

I have always been a very outgoing, loud, and talkative person. I grew up in environments where if you did not speak up, you were not heard. When you’re little, there is not usually a problem with this. Sure, I would get in trouble for talking too much in class, for being too loud during quiet time. Everyone would laugh it off; it was normal. My parents encouraged me to make others laugh, to be involved, to be myself. They came to America to give us the life that we wanted, everything I wanted to be involved in was exciting for them.

I got to highschool and that changed for me. I wanted to dip my toes in everything and be friends with everyone and while that sounds like the right thing to do in theory, it was not received well.

My personality was deemed “too much”. I was seen as the kind of loud that is obnoxious to people rather than the kind of loud that is just funny. The more I got involved with school activities, the more I was seen as a “try hard”. Making comments and asking questions in class was not cute anymore, it was just cutting into everyone’s time.

I was dulled and filtered until I became what I thought was more acceptable for those around me. 

Why did I feel the need to shrink my space to allow others to seem more comfortable?

College was a slap in the face. Being outgoing and involved feels expected and if you cannot seem to find your group or join organizations, there is a feeling of being left behind. This was so frustrating because I spent years conditioning myself to be something I am not, just for the authenticity of myself to be just what I needed.

Over the years I have learned that it is not how small you can make yourself, it is how bright you can be while making others feel brighter. I have learned that making myself quieter, less outgoing, and a woman of few words is just not going to be enough for me.

I want opportunities, I want memories, and I want to be someone that people know they can talk to without feeling small. I will never be untrue to myself to make others feel comfortable. If someone is uncomfortable in your space, let them make their own bubble without popping yours.

I have met people in college that let me be me. My roommates are my best friends and they let me laugh and yell and cry however I please. I like laughing and making people laugh. I like talking for hours about things that do not matter. I like that sore throat feeling and the need for water after spending time with people that you just cannot seem to get enough of. That is what life is about. To feel emotion freely and to be yourself with no repercussions. Be selfish with your space, be true to you.

Sarvani K., Virginia Tech

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