Julia B.
If you’re reading this, lean on your loved ones.
For me, last spring consisted of 24/7 stress, sleepless nights, and sprinting everywhere. I campaigned for Student Body Vice President alongside one of my best friends Malik Balogun. I was in a constant state of angst, which stemmed from the fear of disappointing thousands of people supporting us. On top of this, I had overcommitted myself to my hardest academic semester, numerous organizations, and a part-time job. I pulled 14 all-nighters and mentally drained myself until I was numb.
Yes, I achieved my biggest goal, but at what cost? I was so scared of failing that I pushed myself too hard, internalized everything, and neglected the people I love.
I neglected my family. I rarely called them, but when I did, it was because I needed something.
I neglected my roommates. I rarely spent time at home, but when I did, I would sprint in for ten minutes and leave a mess everywhere.
I neglected my close friends. I rarely asked how they were doing, but when I did, I was not present and intentional in our conversations.
I felt like I was dealing with everything alone because I pushed others away and kept everything bottled up inside. I did not want to burden anyone else with my weight. I finally realized that the only way I was keeping afloat was because of my support system. Even when I had no energy left to pour out, my friends and family sacrificed their energy to pour into me. Yet, they never blamed me for anything because that’s what people do when they love and care for you.
My family responded with love. My grandparents, living in France, only got one phone call from me last semester, yet they sent me an encouraging text every week.
My roommates responded with patience. Without a single complaint, they let me be a tornado that destroyed the apartment every time I was in a hurry.
My close friends responded with support. Without needing anything in return, they constantly asked how I was doing and how they could help.
Last semester taught me valuable lessons. I learned to prioritize people. I learned to say “no” before overcommitting. I learned to seek help. I learned that even when we have nothing left to give, when we are running low, when we are tired and spent and sometimes a little broken — it is okay to be poured into and lean on your loved ones.
Clemson is home to me. My love for my home does not stem from what grades I get or what I am involved in. It is rooted in the people around me. I was so focused on a short-term goal that I lost track of the long-term relationships that will carry far beyond graduation.
I encourage you to reflect on your own relationships and to realize that you are not alone. This mental battle is temporary, but your loved ones are permanent.
Julia B., Clemson University
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