Jax N.
Photography by Satya Yalamanchi
If you’re reading this, it’s okay to take a break.
That’s a truth I’ve begun to learn the hard way this semester. Between drowning in a class overload, working two internships, and barely squeezing in time to see friends on lunch dates arranged via calendar invite, I’ve learned something critical about myself: I don’t know how to rest in college, and I desperately need a breather.
If you’re reading this, you’re not the only one wondering how others keep it all together.
I know it comes as no surprise that Duke students are busy. All of us are high-achievers, and it doesn't take much effort to see that for most of us on campus, doing well - in our classes, activities, or social groups - is a singular obsession. I find myself hitting the bed most days at midnight, having only spent a measly half hour of the day alone to recharge. Then I’m up again the next day at seven, trying to get ahead of work before the morning rush has time to begin. I look around and wonder how in the world others manage all they do so well. Then I wonder if they look at me and think the same.
If you’re reading this and you’re anything like me, know that there is strength in saying no.
Easier said than done, sure. But while I’ve struggled to prioritize moments of stillness as of late, I’ve begun to realize that the only way for me to truly slow down and counter the craziness of college is with a concrete plan. So while I’m no expert, here are some strategies I’m committing to trying:
Normalize saying no and being unavailable. I tend to feel obligated to say yes to whatever I am asked to do - or feel like I should do - as long as I can find some space in my schedule for the event. Now, I’m committing to simply saying no more often. I’ve realized how important rest is to my health, and I refuse to prioritize every single thing I’m asked to do (or attend) over my own time and sanity.
Create dedicated time to rest in your schedule, and guard it. The way this school has run me ragged, I’ve realized I’m not above blocking an hour a day off on my schedule to relax. For me, there’s something more official and authoritative about something if I see it in my calendar, and I’m much more likely to take care of myself if I add it to my “to-do” list.
Find a hobby or skill to pick up. One of the things I miss most in college is having time to pursue new things that interest me on a whim. This year, I have become determined to reclaim that freedom. I’ve taken up guitar again and started taking classes in an endangered language - just because I enjoy those things. I’ve found myself much happier as a result.
If there’s anything these last two years in college have taught me, it is that I am finite. I am not capable of doing all the things I’m led to think make for a “good” college experience while remaining healthy and true to myself. We all need to rest, and in this next chapter of my college experience, I’m committed to finding time to stop finding time.
Jax N., Duke University
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