Heath D.
Photography by LeighAnn Henderson
If you’re reading this, dance like nobody's watching.
I can say for a fact that I’ve never seen someone dance with nobody watching. The reality is, someone is always watching. So if you’re always being watched, how are you supposed to let loose and “dance” like no one is watching?
I grew up feeling like I was always being watched. I have two older brothers, so almost everywhere I went, I was being compared and judged. I had to live up to a standard, and most of the time, I didn’t even know what the standard was. I became accustomed to assuming that everyone I met was expecting me to be like, or better than my brothers. While there was outward pressure that caused me to stress over my image, most of the anxiety I felt was coming from unrealistic expectations I set for myself.
Life became a methodical dance.
Count the beats. Predict the moves of others. Move your feet exactly where you need to. Don’t trip up or make a mistake. Get close, but don’t step on someone else’s toes. Be careful, everyone is watching.
I sat back and watched my brothers make mistakes so that I could perfect the dance. I lived in constant fear that every move I made was being judged by other people. I felt like I would let down my parents if I made the wrong grade. I was going to lose my friends if I couldn’t be funny. My teachers were going to hate me if I stepped slightly out of line. The dance was getting harder and harder as more people were watching, new steps were being added, and the music was getting faster as the pressure I put on myself increased. To make a long story short, it all became too much for me to handle and I fell.
I let down everyone that was watching. I couldn’t keep up with the complicated rhythm and I didn’t adapt quickly enough to meet the ever-changing expectations of others. As I was lying on the floor, I came to a realization. I was hurting so much because I was doing this dance my entire life to try and make other people happy instead of expressing how I actually felt. I had to relearn what it was like to be myself and find my identity in something other than the opinion of others.
Trying to rediscover who you are seems impossible at first, but it can be done. I can attest to how difficult it is to stay strong and be confident in who you are, but it can be done. You will get knocked down again, and again, and again, but I promise that each time you fall, you will learn and discover new ways to get back up. There are so many times I have felt defeated by others or even my own mindset, but over time I have gained the resilience and insight to see that every challenge is just a new lesson to learn. Keep learning from your mistakes and own up to them. Let your mistakes transform you into a combination of all the valuable lessons you’ve learned along the way. Even when you feel like you’ve mastered your own dance, it may still feel hard to be yourself in front of others. The weight of what other people may be thinking of you still feels like this massive burden. I cannot tell you how important it is to just dance and live as if no one were watching. Let loose and show everyone around you how amazing you are because of everything that has happened to you and all the lessons you have learned. All of your amazing moves are a testament to every trial you overcame to get where you are now. So if you learn one thing from my letter to you, please dance like nobody’s watching.
Heath D., Clemson University ‘26
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