Greyson C.

If you are reading this, know that there is no timeline to your life. 

People always ask me why I took a gap two years between graduating high school and coming to college. Do you want the long answer or the short answer? Short answer: I had to figure some things out. 

Long answer…

I’ve always known I wanted to go to college. What I wanted to be when I grew up changed depending on what TV show I was currently watching. Middle school and high school weren't the easiest for me. I had my handful of friends but always felt left out. I felt that I wasn't experiencing the same things my peers were because I had my own issues I was trying to figure out. Between being bullied, family issues, and my mental health struggles, going to college immediately after high school was the last thing on my mind. 

My junior year of high school when teachers really started hammering into us about applying to colleges, I knew I needed time off. I'm 16 years old trying to figure out what I want to do for the rest of my life. I barely know what I am having for dinner, much less what kind of a career I want. I definitely don't have the money to apply and change my major a whole bunch of times until I figure it out. I wanted to take time, work for a bit, and save money while also figuring out what I do want to do. 

I always felt behind my peers but with senior year I felt completely disconnected and no one told me that it was okay. I did not care about walking at graduation or prom. I knew what I needed to be working on for myself but I needed to know that my feelings were normal and no one was on my side. I remember telling my favorite English teacher I didn't apply to any colleges. That I wanted to take a year and then apply. She was so mad at me. Telling me I was "wasting my potential" and "I'll never get to college now." I was not mentally or physically ready for college right after high school. I didn't care about my grades. I didn't care about my SAT scores. I didn’t want to think about what I was doing after college because for all I knew I wouldn’t make it out of high school. I wanted to care but I didn’t share these same feelings that I had to go to college right that very minute. I wanted to go just not then. 

It’s taken me a long time to learn that you have to put yourself first. Especially when no one else is. Doing whatever it takes for you to be okay is what you need to focus on. Sometimes that is going to be going against what is ‘normal.’ It is important to still have goals but how you get there is not what is important. It is that you get there and sometimes that is not the most traditional route. Taking time off was what I needed but it may not be what everyone needs. 

June finally came and I survived high school. I felt relieved. Now it was time to get my life in order. Did I know what that meant? No. I kinda just hoped it would come to me. I remember that fall and it was really painful. Seeing people I graduated with moving into college and being "normal." While I was at home applying to jobs and setting myself even further back from "normal." I felt like I was missing out but I knew going to college wasn't something I was quite ready for yet. 

I worked retail and went to therapy and really worked on finding myself. Over the course of the year, I took so many personality and ‘what career should I pursue?’ quizzes. Eventually, I came to the conclusion I needed to be an education major (that’s a story for another time). This realization came a year after I graduated.  I had finally figured out what I needed to do and started working on myself so I was ready and excited to go to college. 

The only issue was that the deadlines to go to college that fall had already passed. So another year of waiting for me. I spent a lot of time researching where I wanted to go and only applied to USC. If I wasn’t getting in then, I would reapply next year. I had already waited this long. I applied early, found out I got into the College of Education in December and then March 2020 happened.
Wanting to go to college during a pandemic was one of the strangest things. This was my timeline. I joked that someone had to want to go to college during this time. I made the best out of my freshman and sophomore years but it wasn’t until my junior year I really started to feel like I ‘caught up’ to my peers. That wasn’t my goal to catch up but I wanted to have a ‘normal’ college experience. I was finally having these moments that made me feel like I was in a coming of age movie. I finally had my friends that I wished for my whole life and they came to me going into my senior year of college. Great timing on my part, I know but that’s the way it was supposed to happen. My timeline is what I need, not what anyone else thinks it should look like or be.

The timeline of my life and the order I have done things is not like what most people do. All I wanted my whole life was to see someone have the same feelings I was having and tell me it’s okay. Having to be the first person to do something a certain way is difficult.

But I want you to know that, if you are reading this, it is okay to do things on your own timeline! 

No one is out there judging you how fast or slow you take things. Just because it is different, does not mean it is bad. You have to put what YOU need first. Advocate for your needs! You can only compare yourself to you and the growth you have made to get where you are today from where you were before. 

Taking time off was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Was it difficult? Yes, but I would not be the person I am today without it and I would not have met my best friends or had any of these experiences the way I did. Things will happen when they need to happen for you. You are the author of your timeline, and it is okay to do things the order that you need to. There is no set timeline to do life. Everyone is on their own timeline and take your time the way you need to. 

Greyson C., University of South Carolina

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